


Someday At Christmas

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 41,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21939364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: Dave knows that Penelope will always have her friend's best interests at heart. Which is why it doesn't surprise him that she has tasked them with looking after Alex Blake this holiday season.
Relationships: Penelope Garcia/David Rossi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

"I know that it's five days before Christmas, but we have a trip to take."

Dave looked up from the file on his desk to see Penelope standing in the doorway of his office, a sad, pensive, look on her face. "Don't tell me that there's a case this close to the holiday, Kitten." She shook her head. "Then what is it?"

"There was a really bad storm in Kansas City." His brow furrowed a little as he tried to figure out what a winter storm in Missouri had to do with her seeming so sad. "I know, you don't keep tabs on everyone like I do, like I've felt compelled to do after Elle left us so abruptly. This is a time that I wished that I hadn't ever started doing that, since I feel like my heart has shattered into a million little pieces. I contacted Reid already, and he's on his way there from Vegas."

A small inkling of what Penelope was obliquely talking around began to fill his mind and he let out a long, low, breath. "Did you contact Hotch? He was always closer to Blake than I was."

"I did, and he's also on his way. Derek can't take off from work, but I know he's sending flowers to the funeral home. I just can't imagine going from having a family, to having no one, in the space of a minute. I mean, I kind of understand, because of my parents, but still, I think that with her being so private, it has to be destroying Alex, and she won't be opening up to anyone."

He nodded as he got to his feet, coming over to her side and wrapping her in a tight hug. It was only when he pressed her cheek against his chest that she broke down in tears, and Dave held Penelope close as she sobbed out her feelings, knowing that she had conflated her own sorrow over losing her parents with Blake losing her brother and father. "Does she know that we're coming?"

"No," she sniffled out, rubbing her cheek against his shirt before pulling away from him to look into his face. "I didn't know how to reach out, honestly. It's not like she's reached out to me in the intervening seven years. But I know that we have to go and honor her family. Damon welcomed us into his home, after all, when he didn't have to. I just, I had to do something?"

"I get it, babe, I really do," he said lowly before kissing the crown of her head. "So, when do we fly out?"

"Our flight there leaves in two hours. I know, that's cutting it rather close, but that was the only flight I could find there. I hope you don't mind that I booked us first class seats."

"That's fine," he said as he led her over to the door, grabbing his coat off the hook on his way past. "Are you bringing your bag?"

"Yeah, but I'm also going to go shopping before we head to the funeral tomorrow. Tonight is the public visitation, and while this might be appropriate for that, I don't have anything that would work for a funeral. I was thinking that you guys could get caught up over lunch while I shop?"

"You're always one step ahead, Penelope."

"I try to be." She flashed him a pained smile before taking firm hold of his hand. That was a bit of a shock, since he hadn't thought that she would be ready to go public with their relationship, not when it came so soon on the heels with his divorce from Krystall. "But even I'm not good enough to predict the weather and keep us all safe."

"And if you think like that, you'll drive yourself crazy," he said as they stopped by her office to grab her go bag and purse. "Is Kevin going to take over early for you, then?"

"Yeah. I twisted his arm a little to get him to agree, but I just had to get to her side as quickly as possible. I just…to bury your father four days before Christmas, it's just so unimaginably cruel, you know?"

"It is." He brought their clasped hands up to his lips, kissing her hand softly before pressing the down button for the elevator. "I just wish that Erin was still here, she would know exactly how to comfort Alex. She was the only person who could bring her out of her shell."

"Oh?"

He nodded as they stepped into the elevator. "After Alex rejoined the BAU, Erin opened up to me about what had happened between them. She told me about Ethan, how she had held Alex and comforted her over the loss of her son, and that she had been the only one who had known that Blake even had a kid."

"I didn't know that she had lost a child!"

Dave nodded as she squeezed his hand a little tighter. "I think that she wanted to keep it that way, Kitten. She didn't want anyone to pity her for her loss."

"Do you think that she'll let me hug her tonight, then? I won't tell her all that I know, I just feel this compelling need to wrap my arms around her and let her know that we're here for her, for whatever she needs. She's alone, David, and no one should be alone at Christmas time."

"I understand," he said before giving her hand a tender squeeze. "I'm just glad that someone is still watching out for all who have left our little family over the years." She gave him a tiny little nod before stepping closer to his side once more, allowing her head to come to rest on his chest. The silence that fell between them was heavy, sorrow seeping into their pores as they held each other close. After stepping out of the elevator, Penelope wrapped her arm tightly around his waist as they walked over to his vehicle, as if she wanted to be in as close of contact as possible with him. He didn't mind the embrace, since he knew that she was trying to hold herself together in that moment.

"I told Reid and Hotch that we'd meet them in the airport. Did I tell you that?" she asked as he began to drive. Shaking his head a little, he waited for her to speak once more, knowing that there would be more to come. "We'll be the first ones to arrive, and I've already scoped out a place for us to wait. I thought that you could get us food while I research some places were I could get funeral attire. Then, we'll head into town, check into our hotel, and while you get lunch, I'll shop. You can bring me back something that I like. Preferably vegetarian, but I know, this is the home of all things meat."

Dave nodded as he continued towards the airport. The drive didn't take as long as he thought it might, and he was glad for that small mercy, since it was a nightmare to park. "I assume that we're already checked in for our flight?"

"Of course, and since we're both with the FBI, we can go through the TSA precheck line. That was why I felt confident choosing this flight. That still doesn't mean that we can dilly dally." He nodded as he picked up both their bags, allowing her to guide him through the airport to the place they were supposed to be. Thanks to the timer above their heads, Dave knew that they would be cutting it close, and he automatically reached into his pocket for his credentials, knowing that they might have to pull rank, much though he hated doing that.

He caught the eye of one of the agents milling the crowd, and the woman came up to their sides. "May I help you, sir?"

Dave opened his badge holder to show the woman before speaking. "We are cutting our time a little short, as we didn't plan on the lines being this chaotic, and we're due in Kansas City as soon as possible. Would it be possible for us to pull rank here?" He nudged Penelope to pull out her credentials, and she nodded, following suit.

"Of course, follow me." She led them up to the front of the line, and Dave gave a sheepish grin to the people who grumbled a little as Penelope took his credentials from his hand and gave them to the man at the podium before showing their boarding passes on her phone. With that done, the agent led them around the screening area and directly down to their gate, something that he was grateful for when he noticed that they were already boarding.

Penelope let out a relieved sigh as they got in line, getting their boarding passes scanned before heading down the jetway to the plane. Dave chuckled a little to see that their seats were almost the first in the plane, and she made herself comfortable while he stowed their bags in the overhead bin. "I had thought that I was going to read while in the air, but I suddenly find myself exhausted. Would you mind terribly if I fell asleep on your shoulder while we're in the air?"

"That's fine, Penny," he replied as he buckled his belt, pushing up the armrest that was between them so that she could cuddle in close. He wasn't surprised to find that she had fallen asleep before the plane had even taxied away from the gate, since she often dropped right off after crying. Dave assumed the flight was uneventful, because he also fell asleep at some point, only coming around when the wheels touched the tarmac in Kansas City. "Wake up, Kitten," he whispered in her ear as he gently shook her shoulder. It took a moment for her to respond, but then she was sitting up and stretching before focusing her gaze on him.

"I am going to need a large cup of coffee once we're in the right place. I hope you don't mind that I'm basically commandeered you for that."

"It's fine, Penny. I just want to take care of you right now." She gave him a brilliant little smile before leaning in and kissing him softly. "Do you just want to wait for the plane to clear out a little before we get off?"

"That will be fine. We have about ninety minutes before Reid and Hotch will arrive, after all. And I can use this time to look up clothing shops. I just don't think that Target will have what I'm looking for, so I'm hoping there is a somewhat fashionable shop where I can get a nice dress and headband for the service. I just want to honor her and them."

He nodded as he settled back into his seat, watching her pull out her phone and tap away at it. Once she was lost in that task, he pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through his notifications, seeing that there was a text from Emily waiting for him. Knowing that he should answer her, he unlocked the device and then tapped out a quick reply, letting her know where they were and that they would both be on leave for the next week, at least. With that out of the way, he put the phone away so that he could concentrate on Penelope, studying her closely as he waited for the perfect opportunity to get up and grab their bags.

Finally, the plane was almost empty, and he jumped to his feet and brought their bags down, slinging the strap of hers over his shoulder before he reached out and touched her shoulder to get her attention. "Ready?"

"Ready." She took hold of his hand, trustingly allowing him to pull her to her feet before they made their way off the plane. This airport was busy, too, and he took a firmer hold on her hand as they made their way over to the Starbucks. "I think that you know my order by now? I just have to confirm our rental reservation, and then map out directions to the hotel and then from the hotel to the downtown area."

He nodded before pressing a tender kiss on her cheek, seeing that her eyes had turned sad once more. "Everything will be all right, Penny. It hurts right now, but we're going to help her get through it, like the family we're supposed to be."

"Thank you, honey." She smiled a little wider before kissing him in return. "Now, get in line before it gets much longer."

Dave laughed as he nodded, joining the back of the queue. The workers were surprisingly efficient, and he was through the line in twenty minutes. Penelope glanced up from her tablet as he took a seat next to her, taking the coffee from his hand and swigging back a long drink as she slumped down in her chair. "Travel takes a lot out of me, too, Kitten."

"I think it's worse because we're going for a very sad reason. You don't think that she'll be upset to see us, do you? I know I'm second guessing myself, but I just want to take care of her so badly. First James, now her family."

"Wait, what's this about James?"

She blushed a little as she looked back at her tablet. "He didn't die, he just ran off with some woman from his department at the hospital. And a certain internet gremlin may have rerouted a tiny fraction of his paycheck to a charity of their choice. Bastard deserved more, but they could only get away with so much without getting noticed."

His laughter resounded through the space around him, and he ignored the looks he received, instead allowing his mirth to run its full course. "That right there is precisely why I love you, Penelope."

"I'm glad that there's something about me that you love so well."

"I have to keep it family friendly, Kitten. There are quite a few little pitchers roaming around right now," he teased back, and she nodded before scooting her chair closer to his, resting her head on his shoulder. "Did you find anyplace that looked promising?"

"Yeah, there's a mall that should have what I need there. I was thinking that we could also eat there, since there's a Cheesecake Factory on site."

"I think that that sounds perfect, Garcia."

They both looked up into Hotch's face, and then his partner was letting out a soft, happy, sound as she leapt to her feet and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "Boss Man! Did your flight get in early, then? Oh, it is so good to see your face! And you are definitely not eating enough, you've lost weight!" He chuckled as he hugged her back, spreading his hands out on her back as he breathed in deeply.

"You haven't changed in the least, Penelope. Though it seems that being in a relationship with Dave has added a little glow to you." He released her before pressing a kiss to her cheek and then giving Dave a quick hug. "I just wish it wasn't something like this that was bringing us back together for the holidays."

"I know, but I felt like we had to do something for her, Hotch. She's all alone in the world now, so her work family should rally around her at this time." He nodded as he took a seat, picking up her coffee cup and taking a quick swig from it. "Hey!"

"Ugh, you still drink that overly sweet concoction," he said as he made a face.

"Well, if you had asked before just drinking, I'd have told you that. What do you want? I'll let you two catch up while I get in line this time. Hopefully Reid has remained as predictable as always, since I'll be getting his usual order."

"I'll just take a black coffee, Penelope. Thank you."

She nodded before grabbing her purse and making her way to the back of the line. "I don't know what we'll find when we get there. Alex was always such a private person, that she might not welcome the four of us intruding on her grief."

"I thought about that, yes. But Alex will probably react a little better with Penelope there, since we all know that she can put even the weariest soul at ease." Aaron gave him a tired smile. "I wish that this could have been different, that we were reuniting under better circumstances, but at least we can support her through this. Everyone was here for me when I lost Haley, when you lost Erin, it is only right that we do the same for her." Dave nodded in agreement, allowing himself to be drawn into a conversation with his best friend, getting caught up on what the last three years had changed between them. Penelope rejoined them thirty minutes later, and just as she was handing Hotch one of the cups in her hands, another familiar voice rang out.

"Is one of those for me?"

"Of course, Reid," Penelope said as she spun around on her heel, handing over the other cup. "Did you want to relax a little before we head down to the car rental desk?"

"No, I think I'm good. Hotch?"

"That's fine with me."

Dave nodded to his partner as he rose to his feet, picking up their bags once more. "Lead the way, Kitten." She smiled as she took hold of his hand, holding on tightly as they made their way through the crowd. By the way her fingers danced over the back of his hand, he knew that she was barely holding on to her emotions, and he squeezed her hand three times in quick succession to let her know that everything would be all right.

"Thanks, honey," she said lowly as they navigated through the crowds, and she drifted closer and closer to his side as the amount of people seemed to press in on them. "Normally I'm okay with crowds, I don't know why this is bothering me so much."

"Because you're keyed up over seeing Alex again. It's thrown you off kilter, and so you're bothered by people's energy. That's one of the hard things about being so empathetic." She let out a little sigh as she nodded, relaxing her grip on his hand a little as the crowd began to thin out.

Dave was grateful that there wasn't too long a line for the rental pickup, and he watched his partner hand over her credit card and the reservation, chuckling a little when he heard the agent confirm that they had indeed been able to secure a black SUV for their trip here. "I thought that we should go with what we know," she replied as they followed the agent out into the car lot and over to their car.

"It is fitting," Hotch replied drolly, and Penelope nodded as she stepped away from the group to get behind the wheel and Dave chuckled a little as he loaded their bags into the back alongside Reid and Hotch. "You're going to let her drive?"

"It's nice being chauffeured around," he replied as Reid closed the hatch with a dull thud. "All right, we're heading to the hotel first, and then the mall. Penelope wants to buy a more funeral appropriate outfit, since we had to leave from the office."

"Understandable."

Dave nodded and gave them a small smile before heading up to the passenger seat and getting inside. Penelope had already tuned the radio to her preferred music, and he chuckled a little as he buckled his belt. "I know, I should probably take a consensus of what we want to listen to, but I need something that will calm my nerves."

"I get it, Penny." He leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. "And I see that you've already plugged your phone in so that you can follow the directions to the hotel."

"Uh huh. I do like planning ahead."

The back doors closed, and she glanced in the rearview mirror before backing out of the spot and then pulling into traffic. The drive wasn't quite as long as he had thought it might be, though it was nice to fill the time with conversation, getting caught up more with Hotch and allowing Reid to fill him on what was new with the BAU. By the time they arrived at the hotel, his stomach was starting to grumble a little with hunger, and he was glad that it wouldn't take too long to get them checked in, since there didn't appear to be too many other cars in the parking lot currently.

"Did we all get separate rooms?" Reid piped up, and Penelope shook her head. "Oh."

"Sugar, with it being so close to Christmas, we were lucky to even get one room. But it's a rather large one, and thanks to Dave's cachet as an author, we were able to get it for a great price. We have the presidential suite, so we all have our own beds to sleep in while we're here."

"Oh thank god," Reid muttered as he got out of the vehicle, and Dave chuckled as he shook his head a little.

"How much is this setting back my bank account?" he asked as he helped Penelope from the vehicle. She was quiet as they went around to the back of the SUV, only to find that Hotch and Reid were carrying their bags already, and he smiled at their backs as he slung his arm around Penelope's waist, drawing her close to his side as they went inside.

"Seriously, not as much as I thought, since I cashed in some credit card points and exploited a loophole that I found. Just, go with it? Please?" He nodded and she relaxed against him as they made their way over to the front desk. Penelope had everything in order, and the check in process went quite smoothly. "All right, let's head up."

Hotch nodded as Penelope stepped away from Dave to lead them over to the elevators, and they were quite quiet on the ride up to the top floor, as if the seriousness of the task ahead of them was finally seeping into their consciousness. Shivering a little, he tightened his hold on Penelope's hand as they stepped out into the hall, and then she was inserting one of the keycards, unlocking the door onto a truly opulent room. "So, I think that it goes without saying, but Penelope and I have the largest bedroom, since we're a couple. You two can fight over the other rooms," Dave said as he took their bags from the other men's hands.

Once they had found the master bedroom, Penelope rummaged through her bag before pulling out a fresh cardigan, switching it out for her current one and then giving him another pensive look. "Now that we're here, this seems a little more real. How do I comfort her, David? How do I let her know that we have her back and that she can find a safe space in us?"

"By just keeping space for her. Don't push her into feeling something that she might not feel or speaking when she just wants to cry. I know, that's hard for someone as bright and gregarious as you, but I know that you can do that for her. You did it for me, after Erin."

She nodded, and he saw tears sparkling in her eyes once more. "I'll try my best, David. Now, let's get moving, there's not too much time before the visitation, and I want to take a shower beforehand."

"All right," he replied as he took hold of her hand once more. They found that Hotch and Reid were seated on the sofa in front of the gas fireplace, and he motioned for them to get to their feet. "So, we're going to let Kitten shop while we eat. That way we can kill two birds with one stone."

"Sounds like a plan. And we'll get you something to eat on the way back to the hotel, too, Penelope."

She gave Hotch a brilliant smile before leaning up and kissing Dave's cheek. "You truly know the way to a woman's heart, Hotch. It's just too bad that you've never found another Beth."

"Maybe someday," he replied quickly, which was enough to tell Dave that his friend had indeed found someone to start moving forward with, and he patted Hotch's shoulder lightly as they trooped back down to the elevators.

While they rode down, Penelope handed out the extra keycards to them. "I don't know if you'll need to use them, since we're going to be going everywhere together, what with one vehicle, but it's better to be safe than sorry."

"Truer words, Garcia," Reid said as he slipped the card into his pocket. "So, have any of you kept up with Alex's work?"

"I have. I don't understand half of it, but I'm learning more as I read her papers. It's fascinating, but confusing, and I feel like I read differently now, if that makes sense."

"Oh, it does," Reid agreed, and Dave listened to them start to discuss the field of linguistics, finding the conversation intriguing. By the time they were in the vehicle, Hotch had commandeered the driver's seat, and Penelope reluctantly handed over the keys before climbing in the back with Reid to continue their conversation.

He was almost sad to hear it come to an end as they went their separate ways. Dave couldn't help but watch after he as she made her way down the corridor, trying to ignore the pointed looks that he was getting from Reid and Hotch. "What?" he asked as he turned to face the two, seeing the smirks on their faces.

"You two are saccharinely sweet," Reid retorted as they made their way down to the Cheesecake Factory. "It still blows me away that the two of you slipped into something so comfortable after all the years she spent flirting with Derek."

"Flirting is flirting, this is love," he honestly replied as they approached the host. It didn't take long to get seated, and then they were once more falling into an easy conversation with Hotch, and he suddenly was hit by a wave of longing for his best friend. It had been so long since they were able to talk at length like this, and he missed it so much. They sat eating and talking for about two hours before Penelope joined them at the table, a number of bags in her hands. "Did you buy out all the shops?" he teased.

"Very funny, darling," she teased back before reaching over and snagging his sandwich, taking a small bite. "Yum! I'm going to have to order this to go." He chuckled a little as he nodded. "I think that I managed to get everything I need for tomorrow and the next few days."

Dave somehow knew that she was going to try and take care of Alex over the holiday, and he knocked his shoulder against hers to let her know that he was all right with that decision, if Alex agreed. She sighed as she slumped against him, her head coming to rest on his shoulder as they talked while waiting for their server to come back.

Twenty minutes later, they were headed back to the vehicle, and he got in the back with Penelope this time, holding onto her purse as she ate. There was something almost delicate about the way she was eating, and he assumed that it was because she didn't want to get too messy, even though he knew that she would be showering once they were back to the hotel. "Do you want me to do anything while you're freshening up?" he asked, and she nodded.

"If you would be so kind as to hang up the black dress that's in one of the bags so that the wrinkles won't have time to set, I'd really appreciate that. And set out the black fascinator and the black heels as well, so that the only thing I'll have to do tomorrow before the funeral is step into them. I bought you a new black tie, too, David, since I don't think that there is one in your go bag."

"You would be correct, Kitten." She flashed him a small smile as she finished up her food, dabbing daintily at her face with a napkin before closing the container and shoving it back into the bag. "You really do think of everything."

"I've always had to with you lot. Someone needs to keep you in line, after all," she said as she snuggled up close to him, letting her head come to rest on his chest as Hotch continued to drive them back to the hotel. It wasn't until he pulled into a parking spot that he realized she had fallen asleep, and he gently shook her awake. She sat up and stretched before kissing him softly, slipping from the car and taking half the bags from the back while he continued to carry her purse and the rest of her purchases. "David?" she asked as he closed the door to their room.

"Yes?"

"I just want you to know how much I love you. If we don't get a tomorrow, you need to know that. Someday, at Christmas, I'm not going to have you by my side, or vice versa, and…you just need to know that." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she struggled to get out of her dress, and he came forward to help her frantic motions, smoothly running the zipper down her back before pulling her into a warm embrace.

"And I love you, Penelope. So much that it makes my heart ache at times. I pray to God that we're afforded many good years together before that happens." She nodded before lifting her lips and kissing him delicately. "Now go, take your shower, and I'll get things taken care of here." She nodded and kissed him once more before heading into the bathroom, leaving the door cracked just a little so that he could listen to her sing in the shower, as had become their habit.

Three hours later, they were all in fresh clothes and Penelope was feeding the address for the funeral home into Hotch's phone, since he had offered to drive that evening. As she settled back in the seat, Dave wrapped an arm around her, holding her close, knowing that she would be holding on to her emotions with a tenuous grip. She smiled up at him before letting her head come to rest on his chest. "I cannot begin to imagine how Alex is feeling right now. There might be some distant family there that she can talk to, but she left home behind so long ago that she can't possibly know all the people that they knew. It would be like you at my viewing, you'd know the team, but my stepbrothers? The rest of my family? They'd be ciphers to you, and that's okay because they chose not to be a part of my life when I went underground and then became attached to the FBI. But it would still be disconcerting to you."

He nodded as he stroked her hair, unable to find the words to comfort her in that moment. Reid chose that moment to speak up, and he smiled a little to hear what he said. "I feel the same way, Penelope. Our line of work has made us quite insular, even from our families, and I don't think that Alex left that part of her work ethic behind when she went back into the classroom full time. I mean, my funeral will probably be small, just a few relatives and friends. The work we do is behind the scenes, so that we don't gather a large following. And that's how it should be, people need to remember the victims and the ones we rescue."

Penelope nodded a little as she picked up his hand, drawing an absent pattern as Hotch continued to drive. "If Sean comes to my funeral, it will be a minor miracle. I know that Jack and Jessica would be there, and their families, but I think that my funeral will be lightly attended as well. I've made my peace with that over the years."

Dave let out a deep sigh as he nodded. "Well, being Italian, my funeral is going to be huge, as family comes out of the woodwork to mourn my passing. So that will be interesting for you, Kitten, because that style of mourning is more over the top than you could ever be." She let out a watery little chuckle as she nodded. "And they will descend upon you the minute they hear of my passing, filling you with food and trying to take care of you. It will be a bit much, but I know that our friends will help you to navigate that whole rigamarole."

"That's what we're for, Dave," Hotch replied lowly, meeting his eye in the rearview mirror. They shared a knowing smile as he pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home. "And this shouldn't surprise me, but there are more people gathered than we expected."

Dave took a look around to see that the parking lot was almost completely filled, and he let out a low whistle. "I'm glad for the turnout, but this is going to be completely overwhelming." Penelope nodded as she sat up, tears quickly filling her eyes as she looked at Dave. "We're going to do our best to make certain she's all right, I promise. It might just take a while to reach her side."

"I know."

Aaron finally found a parking space, and after they had gotten out of the SUV, Penelope was plastering herself to his side as if she didn't want to let him leave her sight. He understood the clinginess, and lightly slipped his arm around her waist as they made their way into the building, following a group of other people. The line almost extended out the door, and he wondered again just how Alex was holding up. Their little quartet was silent as they waited their turn in line, and he watched Penelope enter their names in the book when they reached it.

Still it was another twenty minutes before they were able to see Alex through the throng of people, and he could tell with just one look that she was close to reaching her breaking point, as every time she was hugged by another person, her lips were murmuring what he assumed to be the lyrics to rap songs like she had used in her thesis. Reid appeared to have clocked that as well, since he clucked his tongue a little before whispering to them. "That is never a good sign, Rossi. She's close to cracking."

"That's what I was thinking," he replied as they took a few steps forward. "Kitten, don't hug her when we reach her side. Let her hug you, and then try to get her to let you lead her away for a few moments. We'll do damage control with the line in the meantime."

"Okay," she murmured, squeezing his hand lightly as they moved forward once more. Soon enough, they were only five people away from Alex, and he clocked the exact minute that she realized they were there, as her face fell and her shoulders relaxed. He gave her a small nod, which she returned before pursing her lips together as she listened to the current person prattle on at her.

Alex seemed to hurry along the remaining people in front of them and then they were gathering around her, shutting out the others as they naturally flanked her, almost like they were out on the field together once more. "Hey, guys," she breathed out, trying to smile at them as she let all her walls crumble. "Thank you for coming."

"I knew that we had to, when I found out about the accident," Penelope said, her voice tender. Dave watched as her arms dropped to her sides, her posture opening up a little. Alex nodded as she drifted forward, collapsing onto Penelope and allowing her to wrap her into a tight hug. There was a moment where he thought that she would be all right, but then she started to cry, and Penelope began to rub her back in soothing circles. "You need to take a break, Alex. No one would expect you to stand here for so long without stepping away for a moment. Surely the funeral home has a back room?"

"There is a family room, yes, but I can't leave so many people ungreeted. That wouldn't be fair to them. I have to do my duty."

"Alex, listen to Penelope. You need to keep your strength for tomorrow, this is the easy part, even though it's not so easy. I remember when I was going through this with Haley, and it took so much from me. Thankfully, I had Jessica to look after me then, and we're going to do the same for you now."

"Really?"

"Really, Alex. We'll talk with the people who are still here, explaining where you've gone. Take twenty, get something to drink, a snack, use the facilities, and then come back refreshed. We'll stay until everyone is gone."

"Thanks, Hotch," Alex said as she stepped away from Penelope's embrace. Dave was a little shocked when she willingly hugged them all in turn before taking hold of Penelope's hand and leading her away from them over towards a door on the side of the room.

"I've never seen her cry that hard," Reid said as the women disappeared behind the door, and Dave nodded in response. "She's always been so stoic."

"This would be enough to break anyone, kid." Dave turned to face the line of people who remained, and Hotch and Reid followed suit. It was draining, greeting all those people, even for the short time that they were helping Alex out. She returned to them thirty minutes later, her eyes red-rimmed, and still firmly holding on to Penelope's hand as they stepped back into place. "Feeling a little steadier now?"

"Yes. Feel free to go look at the picture boards, Penelope said that she'd stay here with me until the last person was through the line. I didn't realise that I'd need this support until you all appeared. Would you mind coming out to dinner with me after this? I don't want to be alone, now that I have you here."

Penelope gave him a look, and Dave nodded in agreement with her. "That would be fine, Alex. We need to eat anyway." He reached out and rubbed her shoulder lightly before leading Hotch and Reid over towards the picture boards, and he studied the moments captured there carefully. There were a few of Alex as a child, her smile wide and bright, and Dave smiled in return to see the joy on her face. It was such a different expression from the one she normally wore, and it told him just how different her life had become following the death of her older brother. And now it would be irrevocably different from this moment forward.

"She looks so free here." He looked up at Reid, giving him a small nod. "I've seen pictures of her on her wedding day before, and she was smiling, but she didn't look like that. Instinctively, you know that tragedy touches everyone, makes them into different people than they once were, but to see it so starkly in someone who you've only known one way is still disconcerting."

"It is," Hotch replied as they moved on to the next picture board. These pictures were older, and Dave found himself wondering what it would have been like to have met Alex's mother, since she and Damon looked so happy together. "It's nice to see behind the curtain and find out what shaped Alex. I just hope that we can help her find her way back from the abyss of sorrow."

From the dark look that clouded Aaron's face, Dave knew the man was thinking about Haley, and he reached to pat his arm lightly before heading over to the caskets of the two men. There was something so unsettling about seeing them like that, so lifelike, yet so wrong. He couldn't spend too long standing there, and so he looked around to see what Penelope was up to. He sighed a little to see that his partner had her arm around Alex's waist, supporting her as they talked with the people who were still going through the line. Glancing at his watch, he saw that there would only be about thirty more minutes left to the visitation hours, but there was no way that Alex would get through all the people in that amount of time.

Letting out a deep breath, Dave began to navigate through the crowd until he was next to Penelope, taking hold of her free hand and threading their fingers together. "When it turns seven, we're going to have to see about getting Alex to take a seat on one of the sofas here, because she's been standing for all this time, and while I know that she's going to want to stay until everyone is greeted, she needs to keep her needs in mind, too," he said lowly in her ear.

"I agree. Which is why I have my arm around her."

Alex cleared her throat, and he looked at her a bit sheepishly. "You both are not very good at whispering, I hope you know. But I am grateful that you're here looking after me. I think that I'd like to take that seat now, if you don't mind. My legs feel like they've turned to jelly in the last few minutes."

Penelope nodded as she let go of Dave's hand in order to guide Alex over to the low couch that was on the other side of the room. The women took a seat on it while he reclined against the wall to watch the people coming up to Alex to pay their respects, hearing the way they praised her father and brother for the hard work they had done for the community during their time on the force. Alex nodded and gave appropriate replies, though he noticed that ever so slowly, she was drawing closer to Penelope, until he wagered that he couldn't slip a single sheet of tissue paper between the two of them. Penelope didn't seem to mind the closeness, however, instead wrapping her arm around Alex's shoulders, allowing the woman to come even closer until her eyes were closing in slower and slower blinks, her replies taking more time to leave her lips, until she had fallen asleep against his partner.

"I think that Alex needs some space," he said to the last group of mourners, and he led them over to the picture boards before Hotch, Reid, and he continued to greet them and thank them for coming. Still, it took about another hour for them to deal with everyone, and Dave himself felt exhausted by the end of it, even though they had only been there for two hours at that point. "All right, I'll go wake Alex, and then we'll head out for food?"

"That sounds good to me, Dave. We'll head out to the car and wait for you," Hotch replied as he gave him a small nod. Dave waited for them to leave the room, listening to the doors close, before he made his way over to Penelope and Alex, crouching down in front of them. Alex was still asleep while Penelope absently stroked her arm to comfort her.

"I don't have the heart to wake her up, but I know that we have to get out of here."

"I know, Kitten." Dave reached out and shook Alex's shoulder lightly as one of the funeral home workers came into the room, making a beeline for them. "I think that one of the directors is here to talk to you, Alex," he said in a somewhat raised voice, knowing that Alex needed to talk to the man.

Frowning, Alex sat up and blinked furiously, trying to focus on him. "I'm sorry?"

"I think that they need to go over details about the funeral tomorrow with you before you head back to the house. Unless you're staying at a hotel?"

"No, I'm at the house. It just seemed easier." The man approached them, the smile on his lips seeming a bit placating. "I know that we ran late, Arthur. I'm sorry."

"I should have planned on it, Alex, what with how well respected they both were in the community. And your friend is right, I just need to go over a few last minute details before you can head home with them. We'll be holding the other viewing starting two hours before the funeral, but you do not need to greet those gathered at that time. The pastor would like to meet with you and any other family members about fifteen minutes before the service, and then we'll guide you up to the correct pew when it's time. I know that you've already told me about your personal religious preferences, so I've informed the pastor that you do not wish to pray…"

"No, it would have been important to my dad that we have that. I'm sorry to change my mind so late, but…I need to honor him one last time." The flat tone of her voice belied the sorrow in her eyes, and he was glad that Penelope understood the unspoken words in her voice, as she tugged her more tightly to her side once more. "Is there anything else? I really need to eat something more substantial than the granola bars I brought."

"Not that I can think of, Alex. I'm just sorry that you have to deal with these losses so close to Christmas."

She nodded as she rose unsteadily to her feet, Penelope and Dave getting to their feet as well as they followed Arthur out of the room. It wasn't until they were in the parking lot that Dave realized they hadn't really discussed where they were going to eat. "Do you remember where Dad's house is?"

"Yes."

"Good. We're going there to eat. I have way too much food, and I don't want it to go to waste. Perhaps you could find something to make there?"

"We can do that. Kitten, do you want to ride with her?"

"You read my mind, sugar." Penelope tapped her cheek lightly, and he took the hint, kissing her sweetly before they parted ways.

As he opened the back door to the SUV, he waved to the women before climbing inside. "We're headed to the Miller home. Alex said that there is more than enough food for us to eat there, and given the amount of people we saw at the visitation, I don't doubt that to be true."

Hotch nodded as he pulled out of his parking space, heading down the road. It didn't take long to get to the house, and they pulled in just a few seconds after Alex had. Reid was the first out of the vehicle, jogging up to Alex and Penelope's sides as they disappeared into the house, lights coming on as they made their way deeper inside. "It's weird to be back here without them."

"It is," Dave replied as they made their way into the house. It was easy to find the kitchen, as he could hear the voices of the others in there. "So, where's this food that you mentioned?" he asked as he came up to Alex's side, dropping his hand onto her shoulder. The woman leaned back against him, turning her head up so that she could look into his face.

"The fridge is overflowing with casseroles and meat and just too much to even begin to think about. You'll have to choose something, as I have no appetite, though I know that I need to eat. Things have just been so perfunctory this last week, and I am glad that this happened after I had all my grading turned in. And I have three weeks to get everything here sorted. Though I don't know if I can accomplish it all. I mean, at least there's only this house to take care of, but still, there's so many years of things that have accumulated."

"It will be taxing, for certain," he replied as he went over to the fridge and opened the door. Alex was right, there was an overabundance of food, and he decided to pull out the first two dishes his hands touched, hoping that one was vegetarian for Penelope. Peeling back the tinfoil on each, he let out a small sigh before turning on the oven and sliding the dishes inside. While that was getting underway, he rummaged through the cupboards to find plates for them, setting them in front of those gathered before looking at the wine rack and spying an open bottle of cabernet. "Here, let's toast them," he said as he passed around glasses to each of them.

"Thank you," Alex murmured once they'd finished the toast, and Penelope nodded as she rubbed her shoulder lightly. "Someday, Christmas won't be this difficult any more, and I will look back at this time as when my true friends turned up when I needed them most. Thank you, all of you, for sacrificing your holiday to make certain that I wasn't alone. My heart is full to bursting in this moment, and I just cannot find the words to express how much this means to me." Dave nodded as they drank the wine, so glad that Penelope had suggested they do this for Alex, hoping that when the time came, she'd do the same for Penelope.

"You know that we would do anything for you, Alex. And if you don't mind having a helper get underfoot for the next three weeks, I think that I can convince David to let me help you get things situated. An extra set of hands never hurt anything." Penelope glanced over at him, and he nodded, knowing that that would be the best thing to bring some joy to Alex's life this Christmastime.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex let out a deep sigh as she sank down onto the chair that was still pulled out from the kitchen table. She hadn't bothered to push it back in before she had left for the funeral home that afternoon, and she was grateful for the fact that she hadn't had to expend more energy than necessary in that moment. Moments later, she heard the door open and close, a sad smile slipping across her features as she realized that her friends had arrived. While she hadn't been expecting to see anyone from the BAU to show up, since that had only been a short time in her life, their presence had made this horrible day that much more bearable. Especially Penelope. Though she was usually so loud and boisterous, today, she had been subdued and gentle and everything that Alex had needed but hadn't thought to ask for.

"We got here as soon as we could, honey," the woman in question said, and she looked up at Penelope to give her a tremulous smile. She didn't want to start crying again, not after she had sobbed on her shoulder earlier, but she was so close to falling apart, now that she was back in her father's home. And she knew that she only had them for a short time, since they had to return to their hotel, so she didn't want to waste any of their time. "Now, how about we go into the living room while the boys put a meal together for us?"

"Okay," she said lowly, allowing Penelope to pull her to her feet, guiding her through the house. Alex tried not to blush as Dave kissed Penelope softly before they left the kitchen, and she let out a little sigh when they finally reached the living room and Penelope was pulling her down onto the sofa. "Would you mind terribly if I rested my head on your shoulder once more? I just feel so exhausted, but I know that I need to eat before I go to sleep. I have to be at the church so early, and I'll need a shower beforehand, and everything just seems to be too much."

She didn't quite know why she was telling Penelope so much, she wasn't one to just blab out her feelings, as Scott had once so eloquently put it. There was just something so comforting about the way that Penelope was sitting next to her, not interrupting her or expecting anything from her, that allowed her to be open and honest in that moment. The quiet that stretched out between them was gentler than she had been expecting, and she leaned towards the woman. It didn't surprise Alex when Penelope reached up and pulled her head down onto her shoulder before she spoke. "I won't lie to you, because you would know, and that would fracture our friendship irrevocably. So the honest truth is that tomorrow will be one of the worst days of your life. I know that you left home when your mother died, I did something similar. But now you have to face the loss of the rest of your family. Everyone that you loved is now gone, and for you it will be a little more difficult to come to grips with."

"Why do you say that?" she asked, trying not to flinch as Penelope began to run her fingers through her hair.

"Because you don't have a faith that can offer you the comfort of an afterlife. Sudden death, like what happened to your father and brother, always leaves lingering doubt in your mind, wishes that you could believe that they were waiting for you somewhere. I felt the same way when I lost my mother and stepfather. While I was an only child, I had four stepbrothers, and they disowned me before the funeral because I was the cause of the accident, in their minds. For a long time, I believed them as well, since I had stayed out past curfew, and they had gone out looking for me." She took a deep breath as she twirled a piece of Alex's hair around her fingers. "I wanted to believe then that they were in a happier afterlife, but I knew that that was an impossibility."

"Yes, precisely. I mean, since Erin's passing, I have found myself walking towards faith, but this accident seems to have pushed me away from it once more. It would be a comfort to believe that, especially at this time of year."

"It would. But we have to be honest and true to ourselves and sometimes that will hurt our hearts more than we care to admit. Now, when you wake up tomorrow, I want you to text me as soon as you get to your phone, and then I'll call and talk to you for while you make yourself breakfast. And if you want, I'll make certain that we're at the church when you arrive, so that you don't have to go through this alone. Though I'll have to stow my bag in your trunk, since I'll be staying and helping you here."

Alex could hear the cheerfulness in Penelope's voice, though it was tinged with sadness, and gave her a small nod. "I think that I would like that, Penelope. But how…?"

"It's what I wish someone would have done with me, when I lost my parents. Everyone thought I was okay, that I was holding it together, but I was dying inside and just wished that one person had reached out to me and held me close. Let me know if it's too much for you, because I can tend to smother, but I just want to take care of you as best I can."

"Thank you," she murmured in reply, letting her right hand slip off her lap and onto Penelope's leg, closing around her knee as she let out a deep sigh. "I need to be quiet until we eat. All right?"

"All right." Penelope began to hum under her breath, a familiar, comforting, tune, and Alex felt her eyes closing heavily at the combined sound and feeling of Penelope's fingers running through her hair. She fell into a light sleep as they waited, and came to with a quick start when Penelope shook her shoulder softly. "All right, Alex, the food is ready."

She nodded as she sat up, stretching to try and clear her mind of the cobwebs that were starting to gather. As she stood, she was swept with a sudden wave of sorrow, and a choked sob caught in her throat, and she would have fallen had Penelope not gotten to her feet so quickly and wrapped her arm around her waist in order to steady her. "Thank you, Penelope," she managed to say before the tears were coming fast and thick. Without thinking, she turned her face into Penelope's collarbone and allowed herself to cry for a few moments, needing the emotional release before she stood up straight and shook out her hair.

"Feel better now?"

Alex nodded, giving Penelope a tiny, fleeting, smile as she swept a knuckle beneath her eyes to clear away the tears. "Yes. I have the feeling that I am going to be doing a lot of this random crying jag bullshit in the next few weeks."

"Darling, it's not bullshit, it's emotional catharsis, and it is perfectly all right." Penelope tweaked her nose tenderly, actually pulling a giggle out of her lips, and Alex sagged against her. "That's right, lean on me as we head back into the kitchen. I have you."

"I'm so glad that you do." There were more words that she wanted to say, but they wouldn't come out of her mouth, so she instead fumbled around for Penelope's hand and clasped it tightly as they took the short walk from the living room to the kitchen. The table was already set, and there were full wine glasses in front of each place. Alex wasn't too surprised that Hotch had taken the seat at the head of the table, leadership had always come naturally to him. What did surprise her was seeing Rossi and Reid sitting next to each other, when she had expected him to sit next to Penelope. Grateful for the thought and care in that gesture, Alex gave the man a short smile as she took a seat across from Reid, picking up her glass and taking a small sip before setting the glass down and rubbing her thumb along the rim as she watched the food start to be passed around.

"Is there anything here that looks appetizing to you?" Penelope whispered as she passed her the first dish.

"Yeah." Alex took the dish from her hand and spooned out a small serving before handing it across to Reid. As the other dishes came her way, she placed small spoonfulls of each on her plate, knowing that she could always get more if she was still hungry. "So, how's JJ?" she asked, wanting to make conversation with them all.

"She's doing well. Will was scheduled to work over the holiday, since we had leave this year, and so she wasn't able to get away. Though she does send her condolences." Reid gave her an almost nervous smile, and she wondered what he was holding back from her. Knowing that Penelope was staying with her for the next few weeks allowed her to let the expression pass by unchallenged, and she gave him a small smile as she picked up her fork and started to eat. "I did take time to read your latest paper, and I must admit that I find it fascinating. It will be interesting to apply the technique that you outlined into our work in the field."

"That was the thought I had in my mind when I started working on the research for it. And Penelope's comments on how modern usages of words morph and shift so rapidly now, thanks to the internet. It flowed really well from there, and suddenly I had a thirty page paper that will most likely lead to more in the future."

It was easy to talk about work, about things of no real consequence, and the others joined in when they had comments that related to the topic at hand. As she looked down at her plate, she noticed that she had managed to eat everything that she had put there, and was still a little hungry, so she picked up the dish for the one thing she had liked the most and spooned out another serving, digging in as she continued to listen to the conversation going on around her. Penelope took notice of the fact that she had fallen quiet, as she glanced over at her before sliding her hand off the table to rest familiarly on her knee. The warmth that bled into her system through her clothes was lovely, and she flashed a quick smile at the woman before finishing up her food and then picking up her wine glass as she reclined back in the chair, watching the others.

"Davie? I need to talk to you a moment," Penelope said as she picked up her plate and brought it to the sink. The man followed after her, and their heads bent together for a moment before he nodded, though they were speaking too lowly to be heard, which bothered her a little, since she felt like she was being deliberately excluded. A part of her recognized that that was most likely a reaction based off how emotionally off-kilter she currently was, so she tried to take a few deep breaths and not react out of her hurt state. "All right, boys, I'll leave you to do the cleanup work, Alex and I are going to head to her room."

That was news to her, and she frowned a little as Penelope came back over to her side and tugged on her arm. Slowly, she rose to her feet and followed after the woman, going back to the one space that Penelope knew. "What's going on?" she asked hotly, feeling her grip on her frayed emotions start to slip.

"They're going to head back to the hotel, and I'm going to get you settled in for the evening before Dave comes back and picks me up at eleven. It's more important to me that you be cared for tonight than in my getting really good sleep. And before you say it, I know that I'm being demanding, that I've invited myself into your grieving, but I couldn't help so many of the team when they needed it most, that I know I might be overcompensating a little with you. Please, may I do this for you?"

Alex blinked back fresh tears as she nodded, taking hold of Penelope's hand and leading her over to the staircase. As they climbed, Alex tried to think about the day ahead of her tomorrow. She couldn't clearly remember her mother's funeral, it was a yawning abyss in her memory, but somehow she felt like this would be worse. All her ties to her immediate family would be gone once they lowered into the cold ground. That thought caused her to wobble on her feet a little, and she was once more grateful that Penelope was following her so closely, as she was able to steady her before they fell backwards. "I'm sorry," she whispered once they had turned away from the staircase, and she wasn't surprised when the younger woman wrapped her up in a warm embrace.

"You're exhausted, Alex. That's nothing to be sorry for," Penelope said as she rubbed her back gently. "Now, let me guess, you're staying in your old room?"

"Yeah. I had to go into their rooms to get them something to wear, and it felt so wrong to invade their space like that? I knew that I couldn't sleep on either of their beds, it would be too much. Luckily, Dad kept my room up?"

"I completely understand. Now, where is your bedroom?"

Alex let out a deep breath as she took hold of Penelope's hand once more, leading her down the short hall until they were at the room at the end. "Since I was the only girl, I got the smallest room, but it was all my own. Mom made certain that I had something nice." Her words caught in her throat as she opened the door, listening to Penelope chuckle a little at her deliberate usage of nice. "You're the only person who's seen this room. Not even James has been in here."

"Then I am lucky, aren't I?"

There was something odd about her usage of the word lucky, and Alex frowned a little as she stumbled over to her bed and collapsed upon it. Penelope was a little more gentle in how she took a seat, but Alex let out a tiny chuckle as the woman pulled them back onto the mattress so that they could stare up at the ceiling. "All right, I have two questions for you. Which would you like first?"

"The hardest one."

"Why were you so disdainful when you said the word lucky? I know that you're happy to be here, but there was something about that word, or rather how you said it, that seems to have baggage for you."

"It does. How much do you know about me?"

"Less than I would like to admit, honestly. I know that you're a sweet, caring, woman. That you love Dave with every fibre of your being. I know that you are much smarter than I could ever pretend to be, and before you protest, look at the things you know how to do. I could never begin to understand all the technical computer things that you innately understand."

"Well, you understand the construction of language in ways that I could never begin to understand. So I think that we're even in that regard. Did you know that I was shot?"

Alex turned her head so that she was looking at Penelope, noticing that she was staring up at the ceiling, her attention focused on some spot there. "I did not know that. What happened?"

"Honestly? I was stupid. I began to collate data on unsolved crimes, and a corrupt cop took notice of my unintentional noticing of him. Somehow, he managed to figure out who I was, what my habits and patterns were, flattered me to the point where I would have done just about anything for his attention, and then on our first date, when I thought he was going to kiss me, he shot me instead. I nearly died, but Jayje got to be a total badass when she shot him directly in the middle of his head through the glass wall of the bullpen. Seriously, it was so fucking amazing, and I think the only person who was a better shot than her was Erin."

"Penelope…"

"I know, I can be self-deprecating now, but black humor was the only way I could deal with it when it happened. I should have been smarter, but I wasn't. So you see, I'm not smarter than you, and I'll never be." Alex turned onto her side and reached over to clasp Penelope's hand lightly, seeing that now she was crying. "But you said that you have another question? At least it will be easier than this one."

"Yes, it's about JJ. Reid acted rather odd I brought her up earlier."

"There was a case some time back, where he and Jayje were kidnapped, and she revealed that she loved him. But then she wouldn't leave Will, because the kids mean more to her than love. Which I completely understand, and that's how it should be, but I think that he was assuming that she would just drop everything and run away to be with him."

"Ah, that explains so much about the emails we've been exchanging for the last year or so. I wish that I could have been able to help him out a little more, but it seems like the only thing I was good for was to be his sounding board. I'm glad that he's here now, though, when I truly need him, and you." Alex let out a long breath when Penelope decided to turn onto her side as well, gazing into her eyes as she nodded. "James and I stayed together for Ethan's sake, and then, after he passed, James decided that it would be best if he followed his passion and worked for Doctors Without Borders. We were comfortable with staying together when we were separated by the miles. It was only when he came home that the cracks in the foundation of our marriage began to show. JJ might come around, she might realize quicker than I did that staying together out of obligation isn't a tenable marriage. Though you might want to put that particular bug in his ear, as I don't know if he'll listen to my advice."

"I would listen to anything that you had to tell me, Alex." Penelope reached out to touch Alex's face, a sad smile crossing her lips before she let out a small yawn. "I'm sorry, you're the one who should be tired."

"And I am, but you also have the right to be exhausted as well, seeing as how you had to travel today." Absently, Penelope's thumb began to rub along her cheekbone, and Alex found herself relishing those sweet touches, as they grounded her to the current moment. "I suppose that I should change into pyjamas, just in case I fall asleep on you before you leave."

"All right," Penelope replied as they both sat up. Alex found that she missed the woman's hand on her face as she stood up and trudged over to her dresser, opening the top drawer to pull out a pair of flannel pants and an old t-shirt. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, I have to take off my makeup anyway. I'll be back in five minutes?"

Penelope nodded before sitting back down on the mattress and scooting back so that she was resting against the headboard. Alex gave her a small nod in return before leaving the room and heading down the hall to the bathroom. It was just as difficult to be in there as it was their bedrooms, since the scent was so strongly masculine, their grooming products were still laid out as if they would use them again, and it still unnerved her to be so close to them. Shaking her head a little, Alex let her pyjamas drop onto the counter as she reached out for a hair tie, hurriedly tugging her locks into a ponytail before grabbing a washcloth and wetting it thoroughly. It didn't take long to wash all the makeup off her face, and then she quickly stripped before slipping into the pyjamas.

Once she was dressed for bed, Alex took a long look at herself in the mirror. She looked years older, and her eyes were impossibly sad. Shaking her head a little, she picked up her worn clothes and brought it back to the bedroom. Penelope was flipping through the book she had left on her nightstand. "I've already ordered this for home," she said as she set the book aside and patted the mattress. Alex felt the first true smile she'd had in days spread across her face as she came over to the bed and took a seat, copying Penelope and reclining against the headboard. "I thought that if we were going to keep in contact, which I very much want, I should get to know your passions a bit more. And this book seems really accessible to me."

"If you like it, let me know, and I'll send you a list of books that I think will help you learn more about linguistics." Penelope nodded and set the book aside before shifting closer to Alex, reaching her hand up to pull her head down on her shoulder. "Penelope?"

"You need to rest on me until I go. Because sometimes your heart heals a little bit easier when you have a soft space to land." She gave her friend a small nod. "Now, I want to hear a happy story about your time in the Academy. That should be a relatively safe topic, yes?"

"Yes." She took a deep breath as she tried to think of the best story to tell Penelope. "So, Erin and I weren't always at odds. She used to be my best friend, and that was only because we happened to be assigned as roommates when we entered the Academy at the same time."

"Was she always so uptight?" Penelope interrupted, and Alex laughed a little as she shook her head.

"No, that only came about as a result of her need to be taken seriously by Jason Gideon. I didn't really care what he thought about me, but Erin always seemed determined to rise through the ranks of the BSU. She wanted to be the first female Section Chief there, and she was, though she told me that she bitterly regretted how that eventually came to be." She let out a short breath as she tried to shoo away the sad thoughts that were starting to creep into her mind at the mention of Erin. "We had a really good discussion that last night when I took her back to the hotel, and it was so nice to finally bury that hatchet between us. I just wish that that hadn't been the last time we got to speak. I could really have used my best friend right now."

"I'm certain that she would have dropped everything to be at your side."

Alex pressed her lips together as she nodded a little, turning towards Penelope and slinging her arm around her waist as she struggled to not cry again. "Anyway, back to the original story I was going to tell. When I walked into the dorms with my two bags, I was greeted with a room that was so thoroughly feminine that I thought I was going to have to request a new roommate. It wasn't until Erin popped her head out of the bathroom door that I knew I could never do that. There was just something so breathtaking about her. And then she smiled at me before bustling over to my side and introducing herself."

"You fell in love with her."

It wasn't a question, and Alex wondered what had given herself away. "It was the easiest thing in the world to do, honestly. We kissed, a lot, that first year together, but we never really got around to anything more when she met Alan. And then I met James, and suddenly we were talking about them all the time. I think that we were both a little afraid of what our families would think, since we came from rather conservative stock. We remained thick as thieves, though, through my pregnancy and what came afterwards. She was the best friend I could have ever asked for, and I miss her dearly. I wish that she was here with us, because I know that the two of you would take such good care of me. Though I am so glad to have you."

Those were the most words she had said in ages, outside of her classroom, and it felt good to get some of that burden off her heart. Penelope seemed to recognize this fact, as she snaked a hand upwards to tug on her ponytail before massaging her scalp absently with her fingers. "And I am so glad that I came. I didn't know if you'd want us here, since I didn't call ahead to let you know. Dave said that surprises at a time like this aren't the best, but I had this feeling that if we did let you know, you'd rebuff us, since you are so private. I never thought that you'd tell me about your relationship with Erin, but it makes me like you all the more for the truth that you lived, even if only for a short time."

Alex nodded a little. "I know that I can trust you, Penelope. Even though we did get off to a rather rocky start, there was just something about your personality that set my heart at ease." Another yawn split her lips, and she nuzzled her cheek against Penelope's shoulder before contorting her body so that she could get beneath the covers and then she was stretching out on the mattress, letting her head come to rest on her pillow as she looked up at Penelope. "Will you stay until I fall asleep? This is the first night here that I've felt tired, and I know that I need the sleep."

"Sugar, I would move mountains for you, if I could. Close your eyes, I'll sing you to sleep with the lullaby I remember my mother singing to me." Alex nodded as she curled her knees up into her stomach, closing her eyes as she listened to Penelope start to sing a familiar tune. And though she tried to hold on to the melody, to listen to her friend sing for her, all too soon, she was falling asleep, losing her connection to the woman.

When she woke up the next morning to the sound of her alarm, she sat up with a stretch and looked around the room, taking a few seconds to remember where she was and why she was there. Alex let out a shaky breath as she slipped out of the bed. As she stumbled over to the closet, Alex tried to rub her eyes free of the lingering tendrils of sleep, and then trying not to cry when she saw that Penelope had hung up her clothes from the previous evening.

Alex went through her morning routine on autopilot, and then she was heading out to her rented car and sitting behind the wheel, staring ahead at nothing. Her phone ringing in her purse caught her attention, and she rummaged through it to pick up the device and answer. "Hello?"

"Good morning, Lex! I'm sorry this call is so late, since I wanted to call earlier to make certain that you were awake. We're planning to be at the church in fifteen minutes." Alex glanced at her watch and felt her eyes widen to see how late it had gotten. "Do you need us to bring anything?"

"No, I'm fine, I've already eaten breakfast. I might be a little late, I didn't realise how late it had gotten. Will you tell them that I am on my way if you get there before I do?"

"Of course, sugar! Don't worry about a thing, you'll be fine, I promise. And because I know that I needed to hear these words on the day of my parents funeral, I'm going to tell you them, and mean them to the bottom of my heart. I love you, Alex Blake, and I will be here for whatever you need going forward. We will see you soon."

"Okay," she replied in a little voice. "I, I love you, too." Her words were hurried, but she knew that Penelope would understand as she ended the call and shoved the phone back into her purse before starting the car and backing out of the driveway. Alex made certain to keep all her attention on the road, though she did recite the lyrics that always helped to calm her mind as she drove to the church. She wasn't surprised to see that there were already a number of cars in the parking lot, and she drew in a sharp breath as the reality of the situation came flooding over her system.

One of the workers came up to her car, knocking on the window, and she rolled it down to look into his face. "Doctor Blake, would you like me to park your car for you? I know that Brandon was looking for you, even though your friends told him that you were running a little behind this morning." He smiled at her, and Alex nodded as she put the car in park and grabbed her purse. "I'll give the keys to Brandon. Head right in, Doctor Blake, we're here to take care of you today."

"Thank you," she replied as she climbed out of the vehicle and make her way up the short walk before entering the building. Though it had been such a major part of her childhood, there was still a lingering sense of not belonging in her heart. She was about to turn on her heel and leave, certain she couldn't deal with everything this day would bring, when Penelope appeared at her side, wearing a somber black dress. It was so similar to what she had worn to Erin's funeral that Alex couldn't stop the flow of her tears as the woman bundled her up into a tight hug.

"I knew that you would get here at the perfect time. The pastor just arrived, and we're meeting in the prayer room. May I take your hand?"

Alex nodded as she slipped her hand trustingly into Penelope's and let her guide her to the room she had mentioned, even though she knew the way quite well. Still, it was nice to just let go and have someone else control her direction in that moment, as it allowed her to gather control of her emotions as best she could. Alex instinctively knew that she would start crying at some point of the service, but she wanted to leave that for the homily that she knew would be said. "I just can't seem to get out of neutral today," she whispered as they turned into the prayer room.

"That's why we're here," Penelope whispered in her ear as she brough her over to one of the sofas, pulling her down onto it so that she was ensconced between Dave and Penelope. The warmth that radiated off their bodies started to seep into the freezer of her heart, and she took a few deep breaths as she clasped both their hands and turned her attention to the pastor. He was new, but she assumed that was to be expected, since she hadn't stepped foot inside the church in more than twenty years, but there was an aura of peace that surrounded him, and that seemed to settle her a little as she let her head come to rest on Penelope's shoulder.

"Alex, you look so much like your mother. It is a pleasure to finally put a face with the name of the daughter that Damon loved so well, I just wish that it were under better circumstances. I know that we spoke on the phone the other day, and I think that I have a good idea of what I'm going to say, but did you think of anything else that you specifically wanted me to mention?"

She shook her head slowly, her mind drawing a blank. "I don't mean to interject myself into this, but will you be speaking about how hospitable Mister Miller was? When the BAU was here working on a case at his invitation, he brought us into his home and treated us like we were family, because Alex was part of our work family, and that always stood out in my mind."

Alex was so grateful to hear her father described that way, since her relationship with him had been fraught for so many years, and she squeezed her friend's hand a little tighter, trying to let her know without words just how much that meant. From the answering sequence of squeezes, she was certain that Penelope understood, and they let out a tandem sigh. "I can most definitely make certain to mention that, miss. It's good to hear that Damon's unfailing generosity extended to those far outside his sphere of influence here in Kansas City." The pastor glanced at his watch before looking at them once more. "All right, let me pray with you now, and then Brandon will come to lead you into the sanctuary five minutes before the service is set to begin."

Alex nodded as she closed her eyes, the old habits coming back to the forefront as she listened to the pastor pray. It was a sweet prayer asking for comfort for them as they went about this difficult day, and she sniffled a little as the tears started to pool in her eyes once more. Penelope tightened her hold on her hand as the pastor finished the prayer, but the moment he had left the room, she was letting go and rummaging around in her purse, pulling out a delicate lawn handkerchief and giving it to Alex. "Here, sugar, use this today."

"Thank you," she said as she sat up and dabbed at her eyes, trying not to smudge her mascara. "Again, I appreciate the four of you being here so very much."

"There is no other place that we could be, Alex. But I think that Reid and I are going to go find a seat in the sanctuary, as there was only one pew saved for family, and I think that Penelope and Dave should be the ones to join you on it, along with the rest of your extended relations."

She nodded as she gave Hotch a small smile as he came over to her side and gave her a quick hug, Reid following suit. He hung on to her for just a beat longer than completely necessary, but she relished the touch, finding it soothing. "We'll see you on the other side, Alex," he whispered in her ear, and she nodded, letting him go.

Once they were gone, Dave got to his feet and went over to the window, staring out it as Penelope pulled her closer to her side. It was a comfort to just let her stroke her hair, and Alex closed her eyes once more, using these last few minutes of quiet to try and find a way to center herself. "Emily called this morning, too, and wanted to pass along her condolences. I know that you only met her the one time, but you made an impression on her."

"She was great to work with when we tried to find JJ. I can see why you went to visit her once she transferred to Interpol. If it had been Erin, I probably would have done the same, once we had made amends."

Penelope nodded a little before kissing the crown of her head, and Alex sighed at the tender touch. "Sorry, I'm unthinkingly tactile when one of my friends is hurting. I forget that not everyone…"

"You're fine. For today. And maybe the next few days." Her words were choppy, but she couldn't find a way to smooth them as tears started to clog her throat once more. Penelope gave a small nod before running her hand up and down Alex's arm. "My heart is stone."

"Mine was the same. That stone will crack when you are least prepared for it, so do not hesitate to call me when that happens. I am a great listener." Alex murmured her assent before getting even closer to Penelope, allowing the warmth of her body to bleed into her body. The time passed slowly, but she fully recognized that that was entirely in her mind, that the way she was feeling was doing something to the way she was perceiving time and her surroundings. Still, she wished that time would move faster, so that this horrid afternoon would be over, and she could go back to the house and sleep away the rest of the day.

"All right, we're ready for you, Alex." She sat up straight and looked at Brandon, taking in the small, understanding, smile on his face. "Remember, you're following after the caskets, and will be seated in the front row with your friends. The rest of the extended family has already been seated in the allocated pews. Do you have any last minute questions?"

"No, I don't think so," she said quietly as Dave helped her to her feet. Letting out a sad little breath, she allowed him to wrap his arm around her waist as Penelope got to her feet and took hold of her hand as they followed Brandon from the prayer room. She was startled to see that the entire sanctuary was filled, with a number of people standing in the back, and her steps faltered a little. Penelope squeezed her hand a few times before letting go and slinging her arm above Dave's around her waist, buffering her from the people who had started to gawk at her as she approached the caskets.

"We're here, Lex, and we won't go anywhere until you tell us to," Penelope whispered as the organ music changed to a different song.

"Thank you. I, I think that I want to follow the caskets alone? But I want you on either side of me when we reach the front. Please?"

"Of course, sugar." Penelope pecked her cheek before stepping away from her, Dave following suite as they began the long journey down the aisle. Alex could feel the weight of so many eyes on her, and she shivered a little as she finally reached the front. While the pallbearers were arranging the caskets, she took a seat on the plush pew, finally able to let out a breath of relief when she was once more surrounded by her friends. Alex found herself spacing out during the service, listening to various people from the force talk about her dad and her brother, praising them richly, as they deserved, but it felt impersonal, like they couldn't capture their true essence.

It wasn't until the pastor began to speak about them that the first tears began to roll down her cheeks, and she used the handkerchief that Penelope had given her to earlier to wipe them away before twisting the fabric between her fingers as she listened to the man extol everything good and true about them. He even included Penelope's anecdote, using it to tell those gathered about how generous and caring her father had been, how that had been reflected in the lives of sacrifice that she and Scotty had lived. Hearing herself praised like that, knowing how much her father had loved her, made her cry all the harder, and she was grateful to feel Dave spread out his hand on her back, comforting her even as Penelope leaned in to touch shoulders with her, allowing her to rest against her as the service concluded.

Brandon came forward after the pastor had finished praying over the food, indicating for them to stand, and she got to her feet somewhat shakily, grateful when Dave steadied her. Once more, they followed the caskets out of the sanctuary, and she was so grateful when Hotch and Reid stepped out of the back pew and joined her in walking outside to the waiting limousine. "I know that this is probably a lot, Alex, but it was a lovely service. It feels like the pastor truly understood who Scott and Damon were." She gave Reid a small nod before reaching out for his hand, wanting a new hand to hold, so that Penelope wouldn't feel beholden to her.

"There will be room in the limo for all of you, I don't want to ride to the cemetery alone. It was difficult enough to hear that Dad had purchased plots for me and Scotty years ago, so that we could be near Mom and him when the time came. I never thought that it would be so soon for Scotty." Her words broke off in a choked sob, and to her shock, it was Hotch who reached out and pulled her into a quick hug. Though he was also well acquainted with grief, she always viewed him as being stoic, like herself, so this outpouring of emotion caught her off guard. Still, it was a welcome embrace, and she hugged him back as she drew in a long breath through her nose.

"We never think that death will come for our loved ones, Alex. We tell ourselves that, barring an illness, our family and friends are going to live forever. It's a fallacy our brain tells us to not think about the impending death of all that we love."

She chuckled a little at the way Reid spoke, knowing that he was trying to be comforting, and she nodded a little as they slid into the limousine, Hotch and Reid going first, followed by Dave, and then herself. Penelope brought up the rear, closing the door on them and she felt herself sag with relief to know that no one but her trusted friends could look at her. The weight of all those eyes had gotten beneath her skin, far more than she had thought it would, and even now she shuddered at the thought.

"Is everything okay, Lex?" Penelope murmured as she wrapped her hand over her knee, squeezing a little to let her know that she had her.

"It will be. But there is a very large difference between people looking at you during a lecture and people looking at you during a funeral. I wish that I had been able to turn my brain off, to ignore that, but that seemed to be one of the few things I could focus on while listening to their colleagues go on and on about them." Penelope gave her a tiny smile as she nodded, reaching up to pat her shoulder. Alex nodded and let her head come to rest there. The ride to the cemetery was silent, which was exactly what she needed, though she did relish the slow, soothing, way that Penelope rubbed her arm, reminding her that there were still people in her life that cared for her.

After the limousine had pulled into the cemetery, it didn't take long for it to get back to the freshly dug graves, and she shuddered once more before smoothing her hands down her skirt, wanting to look her best for her daddy. Swallowing thickly, she watched as Dave finagled himself out of the vehicle first so that he could help Penelope and her out. As soon as Hotch and Reid were out, she took hold of Reid and Penelope's hands once more, pulling them over towards where the pastor was waiting for them. The five of them took up the front row of chairs, and she found that she couldn't tear her gaze away from the open holes, her head starting to swim.

Reid was the first one to notice that she was weaving a little, and he placed his hand on her shoulder to keep her upright. "Thank you," she said as she started to recite one of the songs that normally kept her centered, hoping that no one gathered would think her totally insane as she mumbled words without vocalizing anything. Finally, ten minutes after they had arrived, it seemed like everyone had assembled, as the pastor met her eye and dipped his head downwards before starting to speak. His sermon at the graveside was mercifully short, and then he was inviting everyone back to the church for a meal.

Alex waited until she was certain they were some of the last to remain before she stood up and took a few steps forward, resting her hand on her father's casket as she struggled to not cry again. "I love you," she finally managed to whisper before whirling around and looking for Penelope, knowing that she would continue to be a rock for her and needing that security in that moment. The younger woman instantly wrapped her up in a tight hug, humming soothingly in her ear as she led her over to the limousine. This time, as the driver brought them back to the church, the men carried on a low conversation, the smooth sounds of their voices making it a little more peaceful for her, causing her tears to abate for the moment.

"All right, we're back. Gird your loins, this is going to be a difficult few hours." Penelope pressed her lips quickly to the side of her head and then pushed her out of the vehicle. As soon as they were all out, Penelope took hold of her hand possessively, leading her into the church, the others following along behind them. The pastor was waiting for them inside the building, and he guided them down to the fellowship hall, which was still quite full of people. Thankfully, most of them were either eating or getting food, so she was able to slip into the back of the line and fill a plate with some of the array of comfortable, homecooked, foods that were there. "This all looks delicious."

"Yes. The one good thing about Baptists is that they know how to put out a spread during times like these." A fleeting smile swept across her face as she finished putting a rather gooey brownie on her plate. "Now to find somewhere to sit."

"I can show you to your table, Doctor Blake."

She looked up into a somewhat familiar face, trying to place it as she nodded and followed after the woman. To her surprise, there was a completely empty table, marked as reserved, and her shoulders slumped a little in relief as she took a seat, watching the others sit around her. "There seems to be something for everyone on that table."

"Yeah. At least we won't go home hungry," Penelope said, nudging Alex with her elbow and giving her a small wink. "Now, do you think that they'll try to send us home with the leftovers? Because I don't believe that there is any more room in your fridge for anything."

"If we had the jet, we could bring some of it home with us," Hotch joked, and Alex chuckled a little, grateful that he was able to make easy jokes at a time like this, as if he knew that it would help set her mind at ease. "Though I might go up for another plate. Some of this is really delicious."

Reid nodded in reply, giving Alex that easy smile of his, which she returned. From there, they fell into an easy conversation, which was interrupted by numerous people coming up to her, offering their condolences, telling her that they were there if she needed anything. It was exhausting, just like Penelope had warned her, and Alex tried to push through the meal, knowing that once everyone was gone, she could head back to the house and curl up on her bed, ignoring the world at large for the rest of the day. And, if Penelope was serious about helping her clear out the house, she would at least have one friendly face to help guide her through the hell her life had become.


	3. Chapter 3

It was Christmas morning, and Spencer was finally getting accustomed to the way that Alex shadowed Penelope around the house at every waking moment. The others had come to the agreement that they should stay with Alex until after Christmas, so that she didn't have to face the holiday alone, and while he was certain his mother had understood the decision, he still found himself missing her fiercely as the holiday dawned. After dressing, he had padded his way downstairs, finding that he was not the first one up, as the scent of brewing coffee was filling the air, growing stronger the closer he got to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry that I don't have any gifts for you and the others," he heard Alex say quietly, and Spencer paused outside the door, not wanting to interrupt their conversation just yet. "You've all been so kind to stay with me until tomorrow, that I feel like I'm doing you a disservice by holding out empty hands."

"Your hands aren't empty, Lex, they're full of kindness for us. And having the boys tag along has been nice for me, too. It's seldom that I've had the opportunity to spend extended time with Reid and Hotch in this sort of setting, since we spent enough time together on the job. I haven't seen Hotch this relaxed in years, and it's made me realise that I miss him. I still can't believe he and Dave braved the grocery store yesterday!"

"They're braver than me, that's for certain," Alex replied as he cleared his throat and entered the kitchen. "Oh, good morning, Spencer."

He gave them a tired smile as he tripped his way over to the coffeemaker, pulling out the carafe and pouring himself a mug before returning it to the maker. "Morning, ladies. Did you sleep well?" he asked, trying not to stare at the roughly tousled hair on both their heads.

"Mmm, it was a magical night," Penelope purred, giving him a broad wink. He blushed a little at the images that started to tumble through his mind, and both women chuckled a little before turning back to the breakfast they were making. "I don't know when Dave will be down, I think that I might have wore him out last night. Even the strongest Italian Stallion needs some good rest after being put through his paces."

Spencer choked on his sip of coffee, coughing and sputtering as he tried to clear his throat of the hot liquid. "You shouldn't tease people quite so much, Penny," Alex said lowly, hip checking the other woman gently as she stirred the scrambled eggs before adding some cheese to the concoction. "I mean, I guess that Spencer might be used to that by now, but it is Christmas?"

"Oh, but it's so fun, Lex! Reid turns the brightest shade of red when I've thoroughly embarrassed him. I think the only thing that could get more of a rise out of him would be kissing you, but Davie wouldn't approve of that. Not while you're mourning, at least." Spencer watched as Penelope turned her head and quickly pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek before picking up the tongs next to her and turning the bacon over. "Reid, do you want to go up and check on Hotch and Dave? The food is almost ready, and we should eat while it's hot, after all."

He nodded, eager to leave the room and their too easy teasing, taking another sip from his mug before turning on his heel and making his way back upstairs. Reid went to the room he was sharing with Hotch, opening the door to see that the man was already up and dressed. "Alex wants us down in the kitchen, breakfast is almost ready. The coffee is good and strong this morning."

"That's good to hear. Are you going to check in on Dave, or do you want me to?"

"Penelope tasked me with waking you all up, so I'll do it. Besides, it gives me an excuse to avoid going down there again right away. They're in a weird mood this morning."

"Weird how?"

"Garcia is being extra flirty and Alex is giving back as good as she's giving out. I just thought that, given how grief stricken she was at the funeral, that she wouldn't be so…happy this suddenly?"

Hotch gave him an almost disappointed look, and Spencer frowned a little as he leaned against the doorjamb. "I know that you're thinking about when you lost Maeve, how you reacted to that, how grief paralyzed you because that was all you could see. Alex has faced this particular grief twice before, when she lost her older brother, and then her mother. Her grief is different this time, and Penelope is also trying to keep her on an even keel. She knows what it's like to fall down a rabbit hole of grief with no one there to catch you as you fall. So she's taken it upon herself to tease and cajole and brighten up Alex's days, to let her know that there's at least one soft body to fall upon when the grief gets to be too much." He let out a deep breath. "I wish that there had been a friend kind enough to do the same for me when I lost Haley. You all were so kind, but it was a different sort of kindness. Which was to be expected, since the relationship we all shared was very much that of boss and subordinates. Even Penelope knew that she could only push things so far, though she might have wanted to comfort me in that moment."

Hotch broke off, as if he had been about to reveal something much more personal than he wanted to, and Spencer gave him a small nod, trying to understand the idea that grief could have different permutations. He might have known it clinically, but seeing the tender, hopeful, facet of it was throwing a spanner in his mind. "I suppose that a lot of my experience with grief has come in the form of comforting the families of our victims. Seeing it in a more natural state has thrown me."

"That's to be understood. Now, let's go see if Dave is decent. I have the feeling that Penelope won't want to eat without him." Hotch brushed past him and went down the hall to the master bedroom, knocking on the door firmly before opening it. Spencer hung back, not wanting to see anything that might scar him for life. Instead, he could hear their voices speaking lowly as they approached him. He quickly schooled his features as they went down to the kitchen. "All right, Reid, you're going to help us in the kitchen after breakfast so that Penelope and Alex can relax. Knowing Alex, she's going to want to help fix the meal, but this is just one more small thing we can do to help relieve the burden of living off her shoulders for one more day."

Spencer nodded before brushing past the men to see that Penelope and Alex were just setting the meal on the table. Somehow, they had managed to get a lot done in the short time he was upstairs, and he gratefully picked up a glass of orange juice and took a long swig of it before taking his seat. He was surprised when Alex took a seat next to him, rather than next to Penelope, but it was nice to have her by his side as they ate and talked about the day ahead of them.

"So, I was thinking that we'd cook the meal if you two want to maybe think about finding a movie for us to watch after we eat. There might not be any presents, but our presence should be able to bring more than enough Christmas cheer for the day, right?"

Alex nodded before lowering her head, as if shamed by her inability to provide them with things to show them how much she appreciated their being there. Hesitantly, he reached out and patted her shoulder, needing to let her know that everything would be all right, that physical things were fleeting, but being together at a time like this was more than enough. She gave him a short smile before finishing up her food, and Spencer hated that the mood in the room had shifted so quickly into something a little more sharp, jagged almost. Penelope seemed to be the only other one who noticed the shift, as she shot him a sad, desperate, look as she ticked her head towards Alex. He dipped his head a little before giving her a tiny smile, watching as her shoulders sag a little in relief.

The rest of the meal was quick, and he cleared the table while Penelope and Alex drifted off to the living room. Filling the sink with water, he listened to Rossi and Hotch talk about what their families would be doing for Christmas without them. "Joy was going to Skype with us today, but I rescheduled that for the day after tomorrow. I want her to have my full attention, and she doesn't really understand about how friends can become family. We've gone through so much together, and I think of all of you as my own. Even you, kid," he said as he clapped Spencer on the back. "Now, I know that the two of you are not the handiest cooks in the kitchen, but I am going to do my best to guide you in what needs to be done. Which one of you is better with a knife?"

"I probably am," Hotch replied, and Spencer watched as David thrust a paring knife at him, handle outwards. "What's my task, then?"

"Skinning that bag of potatoes we bought yesterday. Thankfully, it's a small bag, but it will still take you a little bit of time. Reid, you can start making the dough for the rolls." Spencer nodded as he took the open book from Rossi's hands, taking a quick look at the recipe before gathering the necessary ingredients and then starting to mix them together with the stand mixer he found on the counter. Sometimes, his eidetic memory was a blessing, since he hadn't needed to consult the cookbook while he was getting everything together. Covering the bowl of dough with cling wrap, he set it on top of the stove, since Rossi already had it preheating, so that the dough would rise.

"What's next?" he asked, looking to Rossi for advice.

"Want to tackle my grandmother's fruit salad recipe?" Spencer gave him a look, and Rossi laughed as he shook his head. "I swear, it's delicious, and easy enough to make. Grab a large bowl, a knife, the cutting board, and the bag of fruit. You might need the can opener, as well, since I don't think the peach pie filling can has a pop top."

Reid did as told before taking a seat at the kitchen table. "And?"

"Cut everything into small chunks, fill the bowl, and then add the peach pie filling. Once that's done, mix everything together, cover the bowl, and stick it in the fridge. I'll be working on the Chex mix." Rossi turned back to what he was doing, and Spencer let out a small huff of breath before setting to work on his task. It took longer than expected, and Rossi was shoving the Chex mix into the oven before he got to work on the next thing on the list of tasks to complete. Soon, they were working like the team they had been when they all worked together, even though Rossi was leading, rather than Hotch.

Finally, about four hours later, everything was either cooking or in the still stuffed fridge, though he and Rossi had moved the things that could be frozen into the freezer before jengaing the remainder so that everything would fit. "I think that we are ready for a Christmas feast," he said lightly.

"I should hope so. Grab the bowl of Chex mix, Hotch, and we'll head into the living room to wait for everything to finish cooking." They nodded and Reid led the way, unsurprised to find Alex and Penelope huddled close together on the sofa, talking lowly while Christmas movies played in the background. "Hope we're not interrupting anything, ladies."

"Not at all. Penelope was just filling me in on some of her favorite Christmases. Seems that a certain Italian Stallion's first Christmas with her was quite memorable. And I only got the PG-13 version of the story." There was a bright, false, smile on Alex's lips, though he watched Rossi blush as he sank down into one of the plush recliners, Hotch sitting in the other which left him with the option of couch or floor. Knowing that the floor would be a little cold, he took a seat next to Alex, once more patting her arm to let her know that everything would be all right. She nodded a little before resting her head on Penelope's shoulder, staring at the Christmas tree that stood next to the television. "If you want to find something different to watch, please go ahead and change the channel. We settled on Hallmark, since we wouldn't really have to pay attention to what was going on, but the noise would still be comforting for us."

She tossed the remote to Hotch, of all people, and he set it next to himself on the coffee table before contorting his body in the chair so that he could look at them all. "All right, Christmas stories. I was not prepared for our first Christmas with Jack. He was so tiny, and there were a few complications that we had known of from the amniocentesis, but he was my son, and I loved him from the moment I first held him. Which was before Haley, since I got to cut the cord and then cradle him close to my chest. I think that was what solidified my desire to be a part of the BAU for as long as possible. I needed to make the world a safer place for him. But that first Christmas was something magical. Jessica and Haley's parents came to our house, and even Sean made an appearance, and I just couldn't let go of him."

"I felt the same way for Ethan's first Christmas," Alex said quietly. "He was a beautiful baby, but that may have been my biased mother's eyes. Still, he reminded me of James from the moment he was in my arms. We were not so lucky to find out early about his challenges, which made his first Christmas bittersweet. Dad wanted to come to Quantico to visit, and I reluctantly agreed, because that also meant that Mama would be coming, too, and I could never deny her access to her first grandchild. Only grandchild." She licked her lips before clearing her throat and scooting closer to Penelope. "She loved him from the moment he was in her arms, as well. We had a glorious Christmas that year, though we were so unprepared for Ethan."

"I thought I saw a picture of him on the mantle." Penelope pointed at the fireplace, giving Rossi a pointed look. He nodded and rose to his feet, going over and picking up the picture Penelope had mentioned. "You look so young."

"I was. Erin and I were both so young when we started our families, but we were so happy about these little pieces of us that we would send out into the world."

There was a small pause in the conversation as Rossi brought the frame over to them. "I thought that Erin had younger children," Spencer murmured as he looked at the photograph, trying to reconcile what he knew about Erin's three children with what Alex had just said.

"She did. But sometimes things happen. Cassandra was a surprise baby, the catalyst for Alan and Erin marrying. Did she ever tell you this story, Dave?"

"No, I've never heard about Cassandra."

A pained look flitted across Alex's face, and Spencer wondered if she would continue with her tale. Taking a deep breath, she picked up a piece of Penelope's skirt, rubbing it between her fingers as if to soothe herself. "Well, I guess that she took that sorrow to the grave with her. Cassie was a blessed child, gorgeous from the moment Erin brought her over to see me. We joked that she and Ethan would have been best friends like us, if Ethan hadn't been touched by tragedy. Erin swore that they would have gotten married. And then, just about the time that Ethan stopped developing mentally, Alan was in a horrific car accident on his way home from work. Coffins for toddlers are a cruel joke. I hate to be so depressing on Christmas, but for three years, we were so happy with our babies. And maybe, if Cassie had lived, things between us might not have become so fractious. And though I don't believe in Heaven, Erin did, and I know that if her beliefs are true, she and Cassie are reunited, and maybe, just maybe, they're looking after my Ethan."

Rossi rubbed Alex's shoulder lightly before slipping from the room, presumably to check on how things were going, Hotch following quickly at his heels. Spencer, though, didn't want to leave, and he hoped the others wouldn't mind. "There is a certain comfort in thinking that we reunite with our loved ones when we die. I can see why you would want to believe that. I wish that I could believe that. I would like to see Maeve once again. I dreamt of her, once."

"You did?" Penelope asked, trying to sound light, but he could hear the tears in her eyes. Spencer wondered who she was crying for, but didn't want to ask, since it might make her feel even sadder. "What did you dream?"

"It was a few weeks after her murder, and I had just gotten back from my first case after. I walked into a café, she was there, and we danced. I had never held her before, but in the dream, she had a weight that seemed real to me. I thought I could smell her perfume. It was the first part of everything that I had wanted to experience with her, and yet I knew that the moment I woke up, I wouldn't have her in my life again. I wish that we had been able to experience a Christmas together. I would have liked to have children with her."

"Your children would have been so beautiful," Alex said softly, her hand reaching out blindly for him. He clasped it tightly, grateful for the support she was offering.

"And terrors! Can you imagine the baby of two super geniuses? They would have taken over the world by the time they turned six, and we all know that." Never had he been so grateful for Garcia's wonderfully bright and sharp humor as he was in that moment, and they all shared a quick laugh. "And then, once the siblings started coming? Well, who knows? We could have had them terraforming Mars by 2040. That would have been something."

"It really would have. Penelope, I love how you can see the future that never will be," he said as Rossi came back into the room. "How's it looking?"

"The rolls will come out in about ten minutes, and then after they've rested for about five minutes, we should be ready to eat." Spencer nodded as Rossi sat back down. Hotch never came back into the room, and Spencer assumed that he was setting the table, since that seemed like a detail he wouldn't overlook. "So, I think that after we eat, we should sing some sort of Christmas song. Growing up, the holiday season was full of music for me, and I find myself missing that a little."

"What were you thinking about?" Penelope replied, giving her lover one of those looks that spoke of passion and made him blush a little. "There are some happy holiday songs out there, but there are some that even I can't listen to some years because they make me tear up. And there is no way on God's green earth that we're even going to consider singing that abomination of a song known as "The Christmas Shoes". Because schmaltz like that has no place in anyone's life."

Rossi looked like he was going to say something in response when Alex let out a loud, hearty, laugh, throwing her head back as she collapsed against Penelope. Soon, her laughter had turned into tears, and Rossi gestured with his head towards the door. Spencer nodded as he rose to his feet, following the man into the kitchen where Hotch was transferring the food into serving dishes before setting them on the counter. "I was thinking that we should use the dining room for this meal. We went to the effort to make it special for Alex, we might as well go full tilt. I stacked all the plates and utensils already, one of you just need to carry them into the other room. I think there's a tablecloth on the table already, and I saw wine glasses in the cabinet on the wall in there."

Spencer nodded as he picked up the stack of plates, Rossi grabbing the napkins and cutlery. Then they were making their way into the dining room. Hotch had been right, there was a cream linen tablecloth stretched across the table already, and he set up the table where the chairs were, expecting Penelope and Rossi to take the seats at the foot and head of the table, while he, Hotch, and Alex would sit on the sides. While Rossi place the settings next to the plates, Spencer took out five wine glasses, setting them out before rummaging around in a drawer to find a book of matches, lighting the short candles on the table to lend a warm glow to the room. He assumed that Alex and Penelope would like this touch, and he smiled as he followed Rossi back into the kitchen to start moving the dishes into the dining room, preparing it for the feast ahead.

It didn't take long to get everything arranged, and then Rossi was heading into the living room to get the women while he joined Hotch in the kitchen, carrying out the last of the food. He took a seat and waited for everyone else to appear, watching Hotch pour wine into their glasses. Once that was accomplished, his former boss took a seat across from him, leaving the seat next to Reid free for Alex. "So, I didn't get to tell my Christmas story," he said as Alex sat down. "Perhaps, after we've all filled our plates with food, I can do that?"

"That would be wonderful, Reid. I love hearing your stories."

He gave a surprised look to Garcia, who just gave him a small shrug. "I didn't realise you paid that close attention to them, honestly. No one really does, they just let their eyes glaze over and nod in what they think is the appropriate places."

"See, that is also exactly why a lot of people suck, because no one should ever be made to feel like the things that they are excited about sharing, or the stories that they want to tell, are stupid. I may not always understand what you or Lex talk about, because you both have such a deep knowledge of things that I have no experience with, but I love listening to you talk about them. So tell us your Christmas story, and know that you can take as long as you need to tell it."

He gave Garcia a grateful smile as he accepted the plate of ham from Rossi's hands, putting a few pieces on his plate before passing it on to Alex. It didn't take long to get all the food passed around, and then he launched into his story between bites. "So, after it was just Mom and me, we decided that Christmas would be more fun if we celebrated it in different cultures and eras each year. My favourite was when we researched French medieval traditions and tried to follow that as faithfully as possible. Of course, it is rather impossible to find a boar and a peacock to roast, so we have to make due with ham and turkey, figuring that that was as close as we could get."

"That sounds amazing, Reid! Honey, I think that we should do something like that next year, and we can invite everyone to our place. And that includes everyone, Hotch. Jessica, Jack, Sean, they're all welcome. Your new girlfriend, whoever she is, since you won't let that detail spill from your lips yet. Reid, bring Diana, I'd love to spend time with her again. If we're serious about being a family, we need to make that a tradition at Christmas. All right, sure, maybe we won't celebrate directly on Christmas itself, but that's what Twelfth Night is for, and that can be our tradition. This year has taught me how very important holding your loved ones close is." Penelope blinked rapidly before reaching out for Alex's hand, squeezing it a few times before letting go and digging into her food. "Now it will just be finding the right era and country. Though I assume that my partner will want to lean heavily into Italian traditions."

"That might be nice, Kitten. Though I suppose that we can compromise, too, if you find that you truly want to go with another area of the world. I know, it's more than a year away, but how about we make a pact that, at least for next year, we'll do this. Because Penny's right, we're not getting any younger, and we're not promised tomorrow, and I think that our family deserves to have a wonderful party to celebrate this blessed season."

Reid was the first one to nod. "I rather like that idea. And I know that Mom will be happy that our little tradition has found a way outside of just us two." He cleared his throat of the tears that were suddenly clogging it, and this time Alex was the one who reached out and comforted him. Nodding a little, he took a deep breath and dug into his food. "What were some of your Christmas traditions?"

"Dad always had to work the Christmas beat," Alex started as she picked at her food, letting out a little sound of sadness. "When I got older, I realized that he took that shift on purpose because he wanted the other families to have that time spent together. So, we always celebrated on Christmas Eve, went to the midnight service at church, and then he went to work. Once we were all older, Mom tried to make Christmas Day special for us, too, but we were so used to the way we had done things that it was hard to do things twice."

"That sounds like a great way to celebrate and compromise. Our Christmases were a little more chaotic. I didn't get the fact that we were not so well off until I was in college, and then I was embarrassed by the fact that our Christmases were so small. I wish I hadn't learned that, because I was happy with what we did until then." Penelope let out a nervous little laugh before twirling her fork around in the air. "I hate that feeling different can sometimes create oogy feelings in us. Because different is okay, and Christmas isn't supposed to be about things, anyway. It's supposed to be about spending time with the people that you love, and spreading joy and good will to all. It's time that we had more of that in this world."

"That is a beautiful sentiment, Penny."

The look that passed between Rossi and Penelope was so tender that Reid felt like the whole world had paused for a moment, and then everything seemed to start moving once more. "I have to keep reminding myself of the beautiful aspects of the world, David, especially when faced with the tragedies of it." Sighing a little, she picked up her wine and sipped at it, as if she was trying to keep from crying. "But we're not going to dwell on the sorrow of the world, we're going to think about happiness, at least for a few hours."

Alex nodded as she finished up her food, pushing the plate away from her as she picked up her glass and swirled the wine around. "All right, so, happier thoughts. What was the best Christmas gift you ever received? I'll go first, since I asked it. I think that the best gift I ever was given at Christmas is in my office, back in Boston. Erin knew that I had a certain fondness for Muriel Spark, and she scoured every used bookstore in the area to try and find a first edition of her _Memento Mori_. And when she couldn't find a copy locally, she reached out to other cities, until she eventually tracked a copy down in Wigtown. I never asked her how much the shipping alone cost, since the book came from Scotland, but I knew that it had to have cost her a pretty penny. I even still have the card that she wrote me, telling me that the gift wasn't an attempt to try and buy my forgiveness, but rather a gift given in love, regardless if that love was returned. It would take another five years before we saw each other again, and even though I still carried that deep seated anger in my breast, I was able to recognize the gift for what it was worth, and to be touched by the fact that she still remembered the things I loved. I just wish…"

Alex's voice trailed off as she scooted her chair closer to Spencer's, letting her head come to rest against his shoulder as she struggled to keep from crying again. It was easy enough to let his hand come to rest on her knee, trying to offer her comfort. Looking across the table, he gave Hotch a pointed look, trying to get him to say something, anything, that would lift the mood in the room. He nodded and took a deep breath, glancing at each of them before he started to speak. "I don't know if this will be any happier, honestly, but one of the dearest Christmas gifts I ever received was on the Christmas after Haley had died. Jessica was celebrating with us, since I had been kindly asked not to show up at any Brooks family functions, the pain was too raw for them to see my face, but they were perfectly willing to have Jack with them for a little while on the actual day. It was so hard to be alone that year, even though it wasn't that much different from the previous Christmas."

"But it was, Aaron! Haley was permanently gone," Penelope interjected as she reached her hand out towards him. He shrugged a little before taking hold of her hand and letting out a slow, long, breath.

"Well, Jessica seemed to recognize that my heart was not truly in the season that year, no matter how hard I tried to put on a happy act for Jack. After dropping him off at her parents' home, she came back to spend time with me. At first, I didn't know how to react, because she should have, by all rights, been furious with me, since I was the reason her sister was murdered. But just like at Haley's funeral, she just quietly showed up and supported me. In a way, I was glad that Jack was with his grandparents and the rest of Haley's family, because I didn't want him to see me weep when Jessica pulled me into a tight hug, whispering in my ear that Haley would always be with us, watching after us from Heaven.

"I think that we cried together for twenty minutes, but the strange thing was that I felt completely different when the crying jag was over. It was like I had finally set aside some of the burden of my grief, and could start to think about moving forward. And then, she presented me with that one gift I'll never forget. One of her close friends is a quilter, and Jessica brought over a number of Haley's favourite clothes and had her make quilts for Jack and myself. It was an easy way to keep her close at hand, but not have the memories become too overwhelming. Because there are still times when I have to pause and remember that she's gone and never returning. We dealt with death every day in the BAU, we saw the finality of it, but there is a very large difference between what we see in that setting and what we experience when it happens to us."

"Isn't that the truth, Hotch? Even though my parents have been gone for more than two decades, there are times when I look up from what I'm doing and expect to hear my mom's voice coming from the kitchen, and I have to catch myself to keep from crying." Penelope hummed a little as she licked her lips, looking down into her wine glass before picking it up and taking a small sip. "But what a wonderful gift that Jessica gave you and Jack. I wish that I had something like that to remind me of my parents."

"Yeah," Alex breathed out, and Spencer squeezed her knee gently. She pulled away to look into his face, giving him a tender smile before she pulled her knees up to her chest and looked to Rossi. "I suppose that it's your turn, Dave. Somehow, I have the feeling that you might be able to turn around the maudlin feel of the room."

"I'll try, Alex, though I can't promise that, since the one gift that comes to mind for me is also very sentimental." Reid watched as he caught Penelope's eye, giving her a small wink before picking up his glass. "I actually received this gift just before we came here, actually, and it will only be in my possession for a few moments longer, hopefully. Penny, I know that we're both not up for marriage, given that I've been through four divorces now. You know that I'll take care of you, no matter what might happen to us in the future. But my sister came through in the clutch for me, yet again, and I have something of my mother's that I'd like for you to wear."

Penelope gasped as Rossi pulled out a long, thin, box from his suit coat pocket. "Davie?"

"I think that you can tell this isn't a ring," he said as he got up from his chair and went over to her side, handing the box over. "I'm going to have the clasp reinforced when you come home, so it will be up to you if you want to wear it now, or not."

Reid watched her take the box from his hands and open it, revealing a delicate bracelet that was marked with a number of diamonds of various sizes. "This, this is too dear."

"You're worth it. Every special woman in my life has received a piece of my mother's jewelry, so I am glad that I can continue the tradition with you. This piece came from her mother, which explains why it looks so old. I know, it's not your typical style, but I hope that you can work it into your wardrobe."

She placed the box back in his hand before holding out her wrist, tears rolling down her face as she grinned at him. "Maybe I'll just need to rebuild my wardrobe around that. Or at least the dressier part of my clothes, since this is not an everyday bracelet. Still, put it on me. Please."

Even Reid found himself blinking back tears at the sweetness of the gift, and he picked up his napkin with his free hand to dab at his eyes, not wanting to let on just how verklempt he felt. Alex seemed to get it, though, as she leaned over to knock her shoulder against his, giving him a quick smile before focusing on the others once more. "So, Penelope still gets a gift, even though we said no gifts?" he couldn't help teasing, watching as Rossi gave him a look before rolling his eyes. "I get it, your Kitten can never wait for anything."

"But the best things come to them that wait," Penelope said as her partner fastened the bracelet around her wrist. "This feels so right. Thank you, David," she breathed out as she leaned in and kissed him firmly. "I guess that this will count as my best gift, too? Which seems trite because I shouldn't let my head be turned by a beautiful bauble, no matter the history behind it. But I was seriously wanting to go last because…I don't really have a best gift that I received? Like I said, we never had a lot of money when I was growing up, so the focus was on family and food rather than the gifts, and by the time I started with the BAU, I didn't feel comfortable receiving gifts. I love giving to others, and I can't help but feel like that's because I didn't get a lot when I was growing up. Finding the perfect gifts for those that I love, watching their faces light up with joy when they see what I've chose for them, that has always meant more to me than getting another thing. And I know, I tend to go overboard when it comes to kids. Jack lucked out, since I didn't know you quite as well then, and you always seemed a little more reserved, Hotch, but I have spoiled Henry and Michael since the day they were born, because it felt right."

"And you did bring back gifts for the entire team after you and Derek came back from England," Spencer piped in, and she gave him a slight nod. "Though I was hoping for some UK exclusive Doctor Who swag, you know."

"I only had so much room in my luggage, Reid. I had to go with small gifts for everyone, or else spring for a second bag, and…I knew that Derek would have had words to say if I had added another bag, since he was the one schlepping the luggage to and from the airport. Though I promise, if I take a holiday to the UK, I will make certain to bring you back something exclusive."

"That's all I ask." Garcia stuck her tongue out at him before turning her gaze back to Rossi, leaning in to kiss him once more. "I suppose that that means I'm the last one to go. The greatest Christmas present I ever received was after I had committed Mom to the home. It was truly a last resort option, as I couldn't take care of her the way that she needed to be taken care of any longer. The year before that, she hadn't been well enough to keep up our tradition, and while I understood, it was still incredibly sad for me. And so, after I had spent time away from her, and no longer truly had a home to go back to, I went to where she was now residing, hoping that she would be lucid enough to recognize me and that we could have a good holiday.

"She was having a good day when I came to see her that Christmas, and I found myself not caring that she hadn't gotten me anything, because I wasn't expecting anything. Instead, I was given a sweet gift from the world in that we were able to spend the entire day reminiscing about previous holidays, and getting to know her friends at the home, and just being together. She read to me from her favorite Margery Kemp work. And it was as perfect a holiday as I could wish it to be." He took a shaky breath and gratefully accepted the hand that Alex held out to him. "So, I guess that we were all a little maudlin about our gifts. But I know that at least one of us has to have a funny Christmas story!"

Dave cleared his throat as he nodded. "All right, I suppose that I can totally reveal one of the most embarrassing stories of my childhood to you all. Erin was the only other person who ever heard this, outside my family, so consider yourselves lucky."

"You never told your wives?" Hotch asked, and Rossi shook his head. "That really does make us lucky, then."

"Remember that, Hotch." Penelope raised her eyebrows at Reid, and he shrugged before squeezing Alex's hand three quick times and letting go. Rossi went back to his seat and settled in before picking up his wine and taking a long drink. "As you might know, being Italian is almost synonymous with being Catholic, so I never really had that traditional pageant experience that other denominations have. Well, that was until I was in first grade, and my new teacher decided that she wanted to have a traditional Christmas pageant with the whole school. The girls in my grade were playing angels, while us boys had to be shepherds."

"Let me guess, your costume consisted of your dad's bathrobe and a tea towel on your head?" Hotch asked again, chuckling a little.

"Yeah, and I guess that you speak from experience?" Hotch nodded, and they shared a knowing laugh before Rossi started his story back up. "So, I was really not enthused about having to stand up in front of all our parents and teachers, singing about the sheep we were guarding, and I made certain to sneak behind the tree so that no one could see me. That would have been fine, too, had it not been too close to the wall, so the addition of my body was a step too far, and the tree began to sway unsteadily on its stand. I didn't notice it at first, since I was trying to make certain I didn't miss my cue to leave, but then I stumbled a little and managed to push against the tree a little harder, hastening the fall. I knew I was caught out, and so the only thing I could do was say 'Oh, no' as I watched it hit the ground and bounce a little before coming to a rest at the feet of my parents, who had managed to get a front row seat, since we were all in the pageant."

Alex started to laugh as she shook her head. "How much trouble did you get in? And I never took you to be shy about anything!"

"I may have had a very warm backside for a few hours when I got home from the debacle. But my older sisters thought it was absolutely hilarious, and never failed to remind me about what happened for the next fifty years or so. And it wasn't that I was shy, Alex, I just didn't want to be up there in a ridiculous costume. If it had been part of my experience my entire childhood, I might have felt differently, but it was just too much for me. But because of that little display, we went to Christmas concerts instead of a full on pageant the next year. What about you, Alex? Did you have to sit through pageants when you were growing up?"

She nodded and sat up a little in her chair, cracking her back before finishing off her wine. Reid unconsciously copied her movements before settling back in his seat once more, waiting for her to speak. "Of course, I had to, Dave. It was expected of you when you went to Sunday School and church as religiously as we did. Mom loved to see me up there, singing my heart out, and I would always do anything that made her happy. I was a mama's girl from the minute I was born, or at least that's what Dad told me." She paused, gulping down a sharp breath before continuing. "I think that her proudest moment for me came when I was asked to play Mary my freshman year of high school. It felt a little weird to be cast as the mother of God, since I was already starting to question some of the tenets of my faith, but Mom's face told me that I couldn't say no. They even had a live baby for me to hold, and as someone who didn't really have a maternal bone in her body yet, that was quite the nerve-wracking situation. Thankfully, the baby remained quiet for the entire pageant, so I didn't have to worry about taking care of her."

"Are there any pictures of that?" Penelope asked as she leaned in and rested her hand on Alex's shoulder, getting her attention. Alex nodded slowly, and Reid chuckled to see the absolutely devious look on the woman's face as she slid her hand down to Alex's hand, picking it up and squeezing a little. "Can we see them?"

Alex let out a little sigh, and Reid knew exactly how she felt, since Garcia had done something similar to him when he had revealed his magician days. "I suppose. We'll have to go upstairs to find the albums, since they're in Dad's room. Do you want to come up with me? I think that I could use a friend up there with me."

"All you had to do was ask, Alex." Penelope's smile was so sweet that Reid knew she would do anything for Alex, which made him feel a little happier about everything that was going on, since he was still so concerned about Alex's mental health. "I hope you guys don't mind having to clear the table. I promise, we'll make leftovers for supper and take care of everything after that."

Rossi nodded as the women got to their feet, disappearing from the room. As soon as their feet were heard on the stairs, the older man cleared his throat and looked around at them. "This is almost the perfect opening for us. I was wondering how we could get Alex out of room."

"What did you do?" Reid asked as they pushed away from the table and began to pick up the dishes, taking them to the kitchen.

"While Hotch and I were out on Christmas Eve, we weren't just getting food for today. We also stopped to pick up a few things for Alex for Christmas, since she deserves to have some bit of normalcy about this holiday season. We didn't get much, but enough so that she has something to open today. Hotch, if you want to get the presents from the car, the kid and I will start dishes and getting the leftovers put away."

"That sounds like a plan, Dave," Hotch said as he set the plates in his hand on the counter by the sink. "I'll bring them into the living room and set them in front of the fireplace before coming in to help you finish up." Hotch smiled a little as he shrugged into his jacket and went outside.

"That was really kind of you, Rossi. I didn't even think about getting Alex something, even something small, but of course, you think of everything."

"I've always been detail oriented, kid. But I also knew that if I was going to give Penny that bracelet, I didn't want to leave Alex out. Now, I'll start the dishes if you want to put the food away. I know that dishes aren't everyone's favorite, and since I was the cook, I should be the one to start taking care of the dirtiest bits of what I left behind."

"I won't say no to that!" He nudged the man with his elbow and gave him a warm smile as he set the bowl of potatoes down on the table before going back into the dining room for more dishes. It didn't take long to get everything in the kitchen, and then they were working in tandem to get everything finished and put away before Alex and Penelope came back downstairs.


	4. Chapter 4

Aaron let out a contented sigh as he put the last dish away in the cupboard. Taking a look around the kitchen, he could see just how much work Alex and Penelope would have to do to get the house cleared out before it could be sold, and he did not envy the task ahead of them. It was just like Penelope to offer to help, since that was what she was good at. He had come to know that full well over the years, especially after he had ended up in the hospital once more, due the aftereffects of what Foyet had done to him. With a start, he realized just how much he missed her, missed them all, really, and seriously began to consider what it might be like to move back to Quantico and perhaps start consulting with the BAU once more.

"What has you woolgathering, Aaron?"

He looked up at his best friend and gave him a little shrug. "I was thinking about how much I missed this. Sure, I've made a few new friends where Jack and I are now, but there's something about the way that we've bonded that I can't find in my new home. It might be time to come home, to join my family once more as we try to hunt down unsubs. I know that you must be getting close to wanting to retire, and Penelope told me that Reid is pulling double duty by teaching and consulting, so he has to have one foot out the door as well."

"And then there's Jen."

"What about JJ?" he asked sharply, giving Dave a little glare.

He chuckled and patted his shoulder lightly. "You still care for her." Aaron nodded. "Yeah, she's kind of hard to forget. She was offered a position in the New Orleans field office. And not just any position, they want her to run it. It is the offer of a lifetime, and the only reason she turned it down was to ease the transition of Matt taking a private sector job."

"I'm sorry, who's Matt? I'm assuming you're not talking about Cruz, here."

Dave shook his head. "No, Matt Simmons. You worked with him once, when we joined the international team on that case in the Caribbean, remember?" Hotch nodded. "Well, he started to miss being in the United States with his family, since the time changes are horrible, especially when you have young children. Only thing is, once he was back home, he and Kristy ended up with baby number five. They named her after me."

"They named their daughter David?"

Dave swatted Hotch's shoulder as he rolled his eyes. "No, they named her Rose, my little Rosie. I thought that Penelope was bad with spoiling BAU babies, but there's something different when it's your namesake." Hotch laughed as he nodded. "So, I gently nudged him towards a writing career, and our first book comes out next June. I have more money than God at this point, so I told my publisher to give him the whole advance, but didn't let him know that."

"Dave, your advances are usually six figures." He nodded. "And you don't think that he noticed that?"

"Matt's a smart kid, but there are some things that he's a little oblivious to. Kristy will probably know that something's amiss, but she won't say anything, because she knows that this is a kindness that I can afford. Besides, his contributions to the book were stellar, and he deserves to be recognized for that. We'll split the residuals fifty-fifty, though. And he's already started his next book, since his work was so strong on our collaboration that my publisher signed him to a five book contract, the first of which will be a children's book, loosely based on his adventures with the international team."

"So you're still a miracle worker."

"No, that's my Penny's job. I just pull strings to make certain the right people get ahead in life." Hotch laughed as he patted Rossi on the back before closing the cupboard and turning to lean against the counter, looking at his best friend. "If you seriously want to come back, I'll put a bug in Emily's ear. We truly could use another pair of eyes taking a look at the cases we have, and since you worked with us for so long, it would be an easy transition. Though you would have to get to know Luke."

"Ooh, sounds like you don't particularly care for him."

Dave shrugged as he copied Hotch's posture, letting out a long breath. "He and I do have a fraught relationship, since he had a crush on Penelope. She was always weirded out by the way he flirted with her constantly, even with a girlfriend…"

"Wait, she and Morgan flirted heavily, even when he started dating Savannah."

"I know that, but they were best friends from the moment she set foot in the BAU. Luke wasn't as nice, and there were times when I thought that I'd have to separate them just to keep the peace. If Erin was still with us, she would have stepped in and formally reprimanded Luke, but we had to deal with Linda Barnes, and that bitch was ten times worse than anything that Erin ever put us through in her need to make certain that we were above blame. Being the rogue team always weighed heavily on her, Aaron, and I know that she pushed us so hard, but it's only because we got the results that made her look good, and kept the heat off us from above. With her and you gone? That left the door open for the vultures to swoop in and try to break us apart."

"What stories are you telling now, Dave?" Alex asked as she came into the kitchen, a tired look on her face. Hotch beckoned the woman over to his side and pressed a mug of coffee into her hands. "Thanks, I definitely need the caffeine right now. Penelope's in the living room with the photo albums, poring over the pictures in there. I don't know if I made the right decision to allow her to peek into my past, because there are a few pictures in there that are rather cringe."

"Cringe? You're starting to use modern slang now, Alex?" Reid asked as he grabbed his own mug of coffee, giving her a small wink before taking a seat on the table, watching them.

"It happens, especially when you're working on a new paper detailing the shift in language on the internet. Now, what's this about the team?"

"Just that we've finally found a place where we can be that rogue team Erin both loved and hated without having to worry about someone constantly looking over our shoulders and trying to undermine us at every turn." He shook his head a little. "Erin would be proud of the team that we've become, even though she would be sorry to know that some of us have gone on to different places. She cared for each and every one of you in this house, dearly. I'm just sorry that it's taken so long for me to let you know that. Now, before Penelope finds all the deepest, darkest, secrets that are buried in those photo albums, let's head in and see what's going on."

Rossi picked up a mug and left the room, Reid following closely at his heels. Aaron lingered, however, picking up on the feeling that Alex also wanted to remain in the kitchen for a few more moments. "What's up, Alex?"

She refilled her mug before looking up into his face. "I peeked into the living room before I came in here. You guys didn't have to purchase gifts to make me feel normal. You did that by coming here when I needed you most, and I'll always be grateful for that."

Hotch reached out and rested his hand on her shoulder, squeezing softly as he took a few deep breaths. "Rossi and I thought that it would be nice to get you a few things. I reined him in to make certain that he didn't go too over the top. He just felt that with him giving Penelope so dear a gift, he didn't want you left out."

"That sounds exactly like Rossi. Aaron?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for coming. I didn't expect you, of all people, to join the others."

"It was my pleasure to do this for you. We're the old guard, and we need to come together for each other at times like this. Because it does hurt so much to lose someone we love so unexpectedly." He swallowed thickly, trying not to think of Haley and what happened to her. "But looking around this kitchen alone, it looks like you and Penelope will have your hands full for the whole three weeks."

Alex nodded as they started to make their way out of the kitchen and into the living room. He chuckled to see Reid sitting close to Penelope as they studied the photo albums, conversing lowly back and forth as they pointed to certain things in the pictures. "I knew that this was a bad idea."

"No, it's not! You were an adorable child, Lexie. I wish that I had more memories saved like this, but I lost access to that when I went underground. I gave up a lot to be edgy." Hotch felt her eyes focus on him, and then she was pushing the photo album fully onto Reid's lap before getting to her feet and coming up to them, hugging him tightly before kissing his cheek. Taking hold of Alex's hand, she pulled her over to the sofa, ensconcing the woman between herself and Reid.

"What was that for?" he asked gruffly as he sank down into the comfortable easy chair that he had sort of claimed as his for their stay.

"For giving me a way out, and a way to connect with the people who would become my family. That was why I always took so many photographs when we were out. Because I needed a way to remember the good times when the bad ones became a little too much. And now we get to show that same level of care to one of our own, and my heart is so happy with that knowledge, even though we're gathered for such a sad occasion." Penelope let her head drop down onto Alex's shoulder as she let out a long breath. "I suppose that I should have allowed you to get your presents, Lex, but I'm comfortable now. Davie, would you be so kind as to bring them over here so Alex doesn't have to move, either?"

The older man let out a quiet chuckle as he got to his feet, going over to the mantle and picking up the three gifts there. Hotch smiled at the little frown that Penelope sent her partner's way, no doubt thinking that someone had been forgotten. "I see that look, Penny. Don't you worry about anything," he said before turning and bringing the gifts over to Alex's side. "Besides, part of your gift is your precious presence."

"And if you could possibly be any more cheesy, Davie, I'm going to start calling you provolone!"

They all chuckled a little as he came over to Alex's side and held out the packages. Alex accepted them with an almost frozen smile, which told Hotch that she was feeling a little overwhelmed with the attention being thrust upon her in that moment, and he commiserated with that feeling, knowing how much he hated to be the center of attention, especially when grieving. Their eyes met, and he tried to give her an encouraging smile as she placed two of the gifts in Penelope's lap, holding onto the one that he had chosen for Reid to give her. "This is really too kind," she said as she started to delicately tear the paper off the package, folding and setting it aside before lifting the lid off the thin box. "These are lovely, Spencer, thank you."

Alex lifted up the pair of dark blue leather gloves, a true smile on her lips as she stroked them before slipping them onto her hands. Thankfully, they fit perfectly, and he nodded to Reid, letting him know that he had been the one to choose that. "Gloves serve a practical purpose, and I always try to find a purposeful gift, since too often we have so much stuff that we don't know what to do with it all. And seeing as how you have so much to take care of here, something small was the most perfect option."

Alex nodded as she set the gloves on her lap, taking the next package from Penelope's hands. Aaron recognized it as his, and he smiled as he settled back into the chair as he watched Alex open the gift with the same meticulous care that she had opened the previous present. There was something so familiar about the way she did that, but he couldn't place his finger on what was making him feel that way. "The more I take stock of what needs to be done here, the more I come to realise that I am so grateful that Penelope came out here with you all, because even with both of us working on clearing everything out, it's going to take almost the entire time she can spend with me to get this done."

"And I've already hired a truck to haul away the things that you want to dispose of, so all we have to worry about is filling it up, the company will do the rest for us. Believe me, I wanted to make certain that this goes as smoothly for us as possible. I'll be the muscle, you can be the brains."

Alex giggled a little as she nodded, setting aside the paper before looking down at the book in her lap. "I suppose that you can't take the profiler out of a person, can you?" she asked as she looked up to meet Aaron's eye, giving him a small smile before picking up the book and thumbing through it and then bringing it up to her nose to breath in deeply. "I've wanted to read this book since I read about it in one of my journals. How did you know that I didn't have it already, Hotch?"

"I took a wild stab in the dark, actually. I know that buying books for a scholar can be problematic, so I was apprehensive, but hopeful. And I hope that you actually enjoy the book, because sometimes, the anticipation can color the narrative that we read."

"That is quite true," she replied as she smoothed her hand across the cover of the book once more before switching it out for the last package. "All right, the joint gift now. Let's see what Dave picked out for me." Penelope nodded a little, giving Aaron a quick look that he couldn't quite read, and he made a mental note to ask her about that later, if they had a moment alone. "Whoever did the wrapping must be commended. I can't get mine to look this neat," Alex said as she folded the last piece of wrapping paper and added it to the small stack on the coffee table.

"I paid people to make them look pretty," Dave remarked as Alex started to lift the top off the box. "There was a kiosk there, raising money for St. Jude's, and since it was a good cause, I sent a little more business their way."

"That was very kind of you, Davie." Penelope turned her gaze onto her partner, giving him a small wink before letting out a small puff of breath. "So, what did we get you?"

"A very beautiful sweater," Alex remarked as she peeled apart the tissue paper to reveal a pink cashmere sweater. "Seriously, this is gorgeous. But I don't normally wear pink."

"I bet that you'll look gorgeous in it. Here, switch what you're wearing for it," Penelope said as she pulled the box onto her lap and looked at Alex expectantly. Hotch assumed that Alex would tell the woman to stop dictating what to do, but to his surprise, the woman just shook her head a little before peeling off the sweater she was currently wearing, revealing a thin white camisole beneath it. "I'll take that." Penelope handed over the new sweater before folding the one Alex had been wearing before settling back in the sofa and smiling widely. "I think that we have good taste, darling."

"You mean, I have good taste, Kitten. You were here, taking care of Alex."

"I know, I was teasing. Now, I think that sweater looks amazing on you, Alex. Pink is definitely one of your colors, with your pale skin and dark hair." Penelope got to her feet an took a look around the room. "I'm going to get more coffee. When I return, I am going to try and get Alex to tell me a few stories about some of the pictures in this album. Because I just know that there are some doozies in there."

Penelope picked up her mug, and Aaron took this as his opportunity to follow after her and get some answers about that look she had given him. Getting to his feet, he followed after the woman, his own mug in hand. Once they were in the kitchen, he went over to the coffee pot and picked up the carafe, holding it close to his chest as Penelope frowned at him. "You're not getting any more coffee until you tell me what that look was about, Garcia."

Her face turned down in a quick pout as she shrugged a little. "I can feel you evaluating me, Hotch. I know that I'm being a little overbearing, but I feel like I'm overcompensating to try and keep the mood up here. I want, so badly, to put Alex in a better frame of mind. It feels like she's about to come undone at the seams, which makes complete sense, but I don't want her to come apart around you all."

Aaron nodded as he reached out and rubbed her arm gently. "She is stronger than you think, Penelope. But I know that you're being kind in your own way. Just, maybe hold off on giving her commands?"

"I'll try." She held out her mug, and he refilled it before topping up his own mug and leaning against the counter. "We're going to talk for a minute, aren't we?"

"I think that we should. How are things between you and Dave? I know that you try to keep me updated, when you can, but it seems like there's been a lot that's happened that you haven't told me."

She nodded as her shoulders slumped. Taking a seat at the table, she looked up at him before taking a deep breath. "The team truly has undergone a lot of upheaval in the last year. I was really close to taking a private sector job, because I was just so tired of seeing so much death and gore on the screens. And it was getting more than a little tiring to try and impress on Luke the fact that while we were on friendly terms, I didn't like him the way that he wanted me to like him. But then, Dave convinced Matt to go private sector, which he needed to do more than I do, and I agreed to stay. I'm not entirely happy with that fact, but I understand. Once the team gets back on a more even keel, I'm going to try and get out once more. I love being there, I love bringing one bad person to justice, but it still seems like the bad people just keep getting worse."

"Have you thought about taking a sabbatical? I mean, you're sort of doing that now, by staying with Alex for a few weeks to help her clear out this house. But perhaps you should talk to Dave, and then Alex, about following her to Boston and taking care of the things that she wants to keep while she returns to teaching. Jessica was an enormous help for me there, when I lost Haley, and I have the feeling that though she might not come right out and tell you as much, I feel like Alex wouldn't say no to your help. There aren't many people stepping up to help fill that place in her life, after all."

He watched Penelope's pensive look slowly fade from her face as she nodded. "This is why we need someone like you in our lives, Hotch. You always have the right answer, and can tell it to us in the perfect way, so that it doesn't feel like you're condescending. I know, back when I first started with the BAU, you were a bit of a hard ass, but as we grew from a team to a family, you opened up to us as much as you could. And that allowed you to see us and guide us so much better. Emily's good, but she's not you. You were born to lead."

She patted the table, and he nodded, taking a seat across from her. The moment he did so, she reached across to pick up his hand, clasping it tightly. "You can't possibly want me back when one of your closest friends is in command."

"Uh, yeah, I can. It's hard to explain, but she's not Emily when she's our leader. She tries to act like she's just another team member at times, but then she shifts back into leader mode, or into uber-hard ass mode, and it's jarring. With you, I always knew who I was going to get while in the office, and who you were outside the office. Emily would never have allowed me to kiss and hug her if she ended up in hospital due to her scar tissue from Doyle. And I do not take back my sentiments, Aaron. It would take a herd of wild horses to drag me away from you and my loyalty to you. I understood why you took Jack and disappeared into Witness Protection, I probably would have done the same. But damn, if I don't miss you in my life, Boss Man."

Aaron squeezed her hand back, nodding a little. "I can't lie, I miss having your sparkle in my life as well. But life always moves forward, and changes. It would be incredibly boring if everything remained the same. After all, you've changed since getting together with Dave. You're more settled."

"He makes me feel secure. And it's not about money, it's about how we are when we're together. I know that I can trust him with my everything, and he trusts me the same way. We fit together in ways that I never thought possible." Aaron smiled at her, letting her squeeze his hand once more. "Speaking of my lovely partner, it seems that he's come to join us in the kitchen."

Aaron looked up at Dave, seeing the way that he was looking at them. "I thought that Reid and Alex could use a bit of time together, before we come back in and someone demands stories," he said as he went over to Penelope's side and rested his hand on her shoulder as he took a seat next to her. "I think that the gifts went over well."

"Yeah, and she does look super cute in that sweater. That was definitely a good pick, David." Penelope scooted her chair closer to his side so that she could rest her head on his chest as she let out a long breath. "How much of our conversation did you hear?"

"Just the end of it. Why?"

"Hotch gave me a really good idea, and I think that I am going to run with it. You'll have to explain to Emily why I'm doing it, but I think that this will be for the best, in the end. I'm going to follow Alex to Boston, since we're going to have to hire some sort of moving truck to haul everything that she might want to take with her back home, and then help her take care of everything. I need a break from the BAU, and it needs to be longer than the three weeks we'll be here. You know how long I've been at the end of my rope."

Dave nodded before turning his head and kissing her cheek softly. "I understand, and I know that you've been trying to work past that burnt out feeling in order for us to keep a steady ship. This will be the best solution, if you can get Alex to agree to allow that."

"I think that I can be quite persuasive, darling."

There was something about the tone that Penelope used for those words that told Aaron there was something more at play, that there was an undercurrent that he wasn't quite certain he was reading correctly, despite knowing Penelope and Dave for so many years. Penelope looked up at him, giving him a quick wink before sighing deeply. "I hope that your powers of persuasion can win over her heart, Kitten. She deserves to feel a spot of happiness after all that's happened."

Understanding dawned on his mind, and he shook his head a little as he chuckled. "You two are both incorrigible. I don't know who's worse, but you both seem to feed off each other. I don't know why I didn't see it before."

"Because we weren't together before now. There is a certain pleasure to finding someone who sparks off you with the same energy, after all." A positively wicked smile spread across Penelope's features as she pulled away to lean forward, making certain that her cleavage was on prominent display. "If you weren't going home to Jackers, well…"

Her voice trailed off, and Hotch cleared his throat as he ran his fingers around the collar of his sweater, trying to keep eye contact with the woman rather than stare at her chest. "And if I didn't have a girlfriend, as well. It looks like we'll just have to be ships passing in the night."

"That is too bad, Boss Man, because I have the feeling that I would love taking a ride on the Hotch rocket."

A sharp bark of laughter snapped them all out of the slight trance that had fallen over the kitchen, and he looked over to see Alex standing there, her mug in hand. "I walked into this conversation at entirely the right wrong time," she said as she refilled her mug, taking a seat next to him. "Though from the way Penelope said that, I'm assuming that that is not the first time she's said that to you."

"Oh, no, it most definitely is not, Alex. Though this time, her face didn't turn red at all. And this isn't the first time that she's talked dirty to someone on the team. If you're not careful, you'll be on the receiving end of that sweet tongue of hers."

Penelope gaped at him as she struggled not to give a quick rebuttal, and he watched the careful way her eyes darted towards Alex, as if trying to gauge her reactions to this side of them. From the way she relaxed, he knew that she had gotten the answer that she had wanted. "Well, since you've joined us out here, I suppose know is just as good a time as any to ask you this. And since it's Christmas Day, depending on the answer, you might just give me a wonderful present."

"Oh no, I am not up for anything like that," Alex started to protest, only for Penelope to shake her head quickly.

"Yeah, no, that's not on the table! No, I was thinking more of something along the lines of you having a partner driving the moving truck back to Boston. You can cover more ground with a second driver, and it's nice to have company on a long road trip. And I am not being completely altruistic here, either. I need a longer break from the BAU, so that I don't burn out faster than a shooting star. What do you say? Think that I can hitch a ride with you?"

There was a slight pause before Alex answered, and the play of emotion that ran across Penelope's face told him that she was much more invested in the answer than he had previously thought. Giving her an encouraging smile, he then turned his head so that he could look at Alex as she spoke once more. "You asked the question before I could ask it, Penny. I was going to be selfish and ask that you take more time off so that I could keep you with me a little longer. No offence, boys, but I need some time with another woman, alone, to find my balance once more."

"I'm glad that we're on the same wavelength, Lex. Dave, will you go get Spencer? I think that it would be easier for us to hear the stories in here, since we can set the album out on the table and then all can see what Alex is expanding upon." Dave leaned over and kissed Penelope's cheek before getting up and heading from the room. "I'll start us a fresh pot of coffee, since that one's just about done."

While she was busy doing that, Aaron turned his full attention on Alex, trying to get a read on where she was in that moment. The woman looked at him openly, letting him read her. He could see that she was still grieving, but there was a new hope to her, and he knew that that was partly because they were there and partly because Penelope had agreed to accompany her back to Boston. "Did you see what you needed to, Hotch?"

He nodded and then rubbed her shoulder softly. "Even though we're not a team anymore, I still feel responsible for you. For all of you, really. I guess that never quite left my system," he said as Penelope took a seat once more, a sweet smile on her face. "Though I think that Dave needs to be the one who watches over you, Garcia. You get into way more mischief than I could ever handle."

Once more, Alex laughed as she wrapped her hands around her mug, bringing it to her chest and fixing her gaze on Penelope. "It is going to be so quiet in this house when it's just the two of us."

"Uh, no, you don't need to worry about that, Lex. I can fill silence like no one's business. There are so many different ways that don't involve me talking at you a mile a minute, too." Penelope gave her a broad wink as Reid and Dave came back into the kitchen, and Penelope dragged her eyes up to look into her partner's face, giving him a wink as well. "You just missed the most interesting few moments, sugars. Seems our dear Hotch thinks that you're the only one who can keep me under control, Davie. Is he right?"

Reid coughed lightly as he set the photo album in the center of the table. "I think that we should focus on story time now," he said as he took a seat at the head of the table. "And while Garcia might have a few ideas on where she'd like to start, I have found a picture that thoroughly intrigues me, and I want to know more."

Alex frowned before looking at where Reid was pointing to in the album, her eyes widening a little as she shook her head. "Why did I ever allow you to look at the albums, Penelope? For this, you are never being allowed to choose the music on our trip to Boston. I will have total control."

"What's so bad about that picture?" she asked innocently, taking a look at the picture that Reid was pointing towards. "It looks harmless to me."

"There is nothing harmless about it." Alex let out a deep sigh. "So, we had just moved to this house, and Danny thought it would be absolutely hilarious if I were to play statues with him. I adored my older brother and would do anything he asked of me, so when he said that the only way to play the game correctly was for us to be naked, I trusted that what he said was true. Only, he never followed through, instead telling me to pose like an angel on a fountain."

"Who took the picture?"

"My mother, actually, Penny. See, our new neighbor was home, and she saw me standing in the front yard, bare as the day I was born, and neither she nor my mother could stop giggling about it. She claims that she took the picture for my own children to see someday. Ethan never got to see it, or any of the other pictures here, so I guess that it's fitting Spencer should see them instead." Alex gave the younger man a shy smile before looking down at them photo album once more. "So, what other pictures do you want to hear about?"

Penelope turned the page and pointed to a picture of Alex, dressed in a baby blue dress. "I'm assuming this is Easter, but tell me the story behind this dress?"

The look on Alex's face turned sad, and she took a deep breath as she picked up her mug and settled back in her seat. "You're right, that dress is from Easter. I had just turned eight and wanted, more than anything, to wear slacks to church. I was never much of a girly girl, much to my mother's chagrin, and hoped that this would be the year I could dress more like how I preferred. That was her idea of compromise."

"You look lovely in pastels, Lexie. Did your mom make that dress, then?"

"Yes." Alex took a sip of her coffee before looking down at the photo once more. "She spent hours embroidering the flowers onto the skirt, and I tried very hard not to be a brat about it, especially when my brothers had to wear those matching baby blue suits, but I was not happy to wear the petticoats beneath it to make the skirt poof out. Or the fact that I had to wear those shiny patent leather mary janes, the ruffled ankle socks, and the fucking gloves. Mom regretted that, since they did not come home white. But could she really expect anything different when I grew up with my brothers and I always tumbling about? Still, I managed to keep my dress neat and clean, even if my gloves were filthy."

They all laughed a little, and Aaron watched as Penelope pulled out her tablet, setting it on the table. "Well, I suppose that if we're expecting you to spill all the details on childhood pictures, we can also share a few of our own. Like I said, I don't have many pictures from when I was a child, but I do have a few. Here, this is probably my favorite one that I have saved."

She set the tablet down on top of the photo album, and they all leaned in to look at what she had called up. "I remember you telling me this story," Dave remarked as he slipped his arm around Penelope's shoulders, holding her close as they waited for her to speak.

"All right, so, Mom was also an amateur seamstress, and had spent all summer making my Halloween costume, since I wanted to be a fairy princess. I was a chubby kid, but she and my stepdad never made me feel that way, just telling me that every body was different, and there were no bad bodies. So, when it came time for school pictures, which were only two weeks before the holiday, I knew that I wanted to wear my beautiful dress."

"So, you always had a flair for the dramatic?" Aaron asked drolly, and Penelope nodded as she gave him a small wink before leaning against Dave's chest.

"Yes, well, it did not go well for me. So many of my classmates teased me for being the fat, weird, kid and I can home crying. But when Mom got the pictures back, she told me that I looked exactly like the fairy princess I wanted to be, and then she showed me the wings that she had been working on. That helped me to see that I didn't need to listen to what my peers were saying about me. That lesson didn't always stick, but she continued to build that foundation for me. Which is why I grew up to know that I was always born to stand out. Even when I was the Black Queen, trying to stay underground, I could never dull my sparkle."

"I'm glad that you never let the world grind away your edges until you fit into the hole proscribed for you." Alex reached across the table to take hold of Penelope's hand, giving it a small squeeze. "Now, I know that your stepfather was Hispanic, did you get to have a quinceanera? And if so, do you have any pictures from that?"

"No, Mom didn't want me to have one, since I really am a SoCal white girl, even with the last name Garcia. But you know that we did do the Day of the Dead, because you came to my party. I love that I can have that as a part of my heritage, because there is something so comforting about that celebration."

"That was a good time, yeah," Reid said as he leaned forward, resting his chin in his hands as he looked around the table. "I don't have many pictures or happy stories from my childhood, since Mom was ill and I was too different from my peers to fit in and have good memories. I mean, Dad made me at least try a sport, but as we've all seen, I am not coordinated enough for being in softball. Hell, Hotch was lucky when he finally got me to pass my gun qualifications that one year. I've gotten a little better since that time, but my focus was never on stopping unsubs by shooting them, I always believed that we could work things out a little more diplomatically. Morgan was always the brawn, out of us. Man, I wish he was here. I know that he would have some great stories to tell about his childhood, before his dad was killed."

"I have pictures of Hank! Would that work in his place?"

Reid nodded, and Garcia picked up the tablet once more and began to flick her finger across the screen so quickly that Hotch felt himself grow a little dizzy from the motions. "I need to call them when we get back to Quantico," Reid said as she set the tablet back down and showed off how big Hank was getting already. "It's past time that we got together."

"I keep saying that to myself, too. And I know there will come a time when you come to visit us as well, Hotch," Dave said as he gave him a dark look. He nodded in return, knowing that his best friend was right, he did need to come home for a visit, to show off the young man that Jack had become. "All right, any other pictures that we want to show off?"

"Oh, there are so many that I want to ask about, darling!"

Aaron watched the way that Alex sharply squeezed Penelope's hand, and the small nod she gave in return. "How about I choose one more picture, and then Dave can lead us in that singalong he mentioned wanting to do earlier?"

"I suppose that I can live with that, Alex." Penelope gave her the sweetest smile before setting the tablet aside and letting Alex flip through the pages of the album until she came to one of the last pages in the book.

"This album only goes up to my tenth birthday, but that year was one of my favorite birthdays, because I received Samantha that year." Leaning back, Alex showed off the picture that took up an entire page. A younger, grinning, Alex stared up at them, and he was surprised to see a truly enormous ball of fluff filling her arms. "She was the best cat a girl could ask for, but I didn't get very long with her, or I should say that I didn't get as long as I wanted. I went off to college and couldn't take her with me, and by the time I was in grad school, and could have my pet, I had met James and we were starting our family. By the time Ethan arrived, she had passed, and there wasn't enough time to add taking care of a new pet into our routine when we had to take care of Ethan's needs. And then, life got in the way. If I could change one thing about my life, I think that I would change that. I would make certain that I had a pet in my life, in our lives. Because even if it would have complicated things with Ethan, he still would have been able to experience feeling the unconditional love that a pet can give."

"There's always time to get a new pet, Alex. And maybe that can be something we do before I leave for home, once we have everything settled in Boston. I mean, Sergio has grown accustomed to having to share me with Dave's dogs."

"Dogs? I thought there was only Mudgie."

"Mudgie died about a year after you left us, Hotch. I replaced him with two sighthounds."

"And they are gorgeous animals, Hotch. I never thought I'd fall in love with an Italian greyhound, but I have. You're going to have to come visit us, Alex, too, so that you can meet them." Aaron could see the exact moment when the wheels started turning inside Penelope's head, and he let out a low groan as he got up and refilled his mug with fresh coffee. "No, no groaning, Hotch! This is a good idea! We could have a huge party, for everyone, even though it would be a logistical nightmare. Though there's room in the house for you, and Jack, and Alex, so you wouldn't have to worry about finding accommodation. It would be something wonderful to look forward to this summer. And you don't have to say yes just now, I'm certain that Dave will probably have words for me once we're alone tonight, but I just miss all of you so much, and being together now has driven that point home to me."

Alex gave a sharp nod as she closed the album and picked it up, holding it close to her chest. "I'm certain that you can convince your partner that this party is a good idea, Penelope. After all, you managed to get us all together now, and for our large Christmas gathering next year. I'm certain, that if you really wanted, you could change the world on a large scale. Instead, you choose to make small changes in the people that you love. Maybe someday, those ripples will spread out and become the change that we need for the world."

"That is so beautiful, Alex." Aaron wasn't surprised to see tears start to run down her face and he dug into his pocket to find his handkerchief, passing it across the table to her. "Thanks, Hotch. I guess I fail to see myself in that light so often. I just pour out my love into my loves as much as I can and hope that I make some small difference at the end of the day. And you're right, I do love all of you in this room, so very much. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to have a good cry in the bathroom and then clean my makeup up. If one of you guys wants to pick out something delicious from the fridge, it's just about time to eat once more."

Penelope leaned over and kissed Dave's cheek before getting up from the table. As she passed by Alex, she reached out and squeezed her shoulder lightly, then left the room. "Is she pregnant, Dave?" Reid asked as soon as they heard the bathroom door close. "She doesn't usually cry this quickly."

"No, kid, that will never be in our future. Battle ensured that when he shot her. I just think that she's been struggling to hold it together while we're here because she doesn't want to feel like she's coopting Alex's grief. That is the last thing that she wants to do, because she wants to keep the focus on Alex. And Christmas is one of those happy sad times for her."

Hotch nodded as he got up from the table once more to open the fridge. There was so much food in there that he wondered if they would be able to eat half of it before it went bad. "All right, I'm going to heat up that cheese and broccoli casserole that Penelope really liked. Is there anything else that I should pop into the oven?"

"Oh, if there's any of that ham left over, warm that up, Hotch," Reid said, and he nodded as he pulled that out of the fridge as well. "And that fruit salad, too. I'll set the table if the rest of you want to pick out something to eat as well."

A flurry of motion came over the kitchen, and Hotch smiled as he handed over dishes to Dave and Alex, before moving out of their way so that they could choose something they wanted to eat, as well. A part of him wasn't surprised when Penelope came up to him and slung her arm around his waist, letting her head come to rest on his chest as she watched the activity that was still going on around the room. "Are you feeling better now?" he asked quietly before dropping his chin and kissing the top of her head lightly.

"A little. Sometimes a girl just has to cry it out of her system." He nodded and squeezed her side gently as they fell quiet. It was easy to listen to the soft conversation that the other three were having, and he smiled to hear Alex talk about one of her more recent papers. "She's so brilliant, isn't she? I still find myself wondering how we were so lucky as to have her with us for two years. It should have been longer, though. We should have had her and Erin being able to reconcile and work together once more. There is so much that should have happened, and sometimes it makes my heart hurt a little too much. I know that we all have to face our tragedies, but it seems like our family has faced a disproportionate share of them."

"That is very true, Penelope," he replied gruffly as he led her over to the table, seeing that everyone was gathering there once more. "Though I also know that those tragedies have always brought us together, when we needed to be together most. Like now."

She nodded as they took their seats. He met Dave's eye steadily as the older man brought over a fresh bottle of wine and poured some into each glass. "In vino veritas, my dear friends. Let's drink to the season and to our friendship and love."

Aaron picked up his glass and held it out towards Blake and Reid. They clinked their glasses against his and then he repeated the gesture with Dave and Penelope. There was something so cosy about this feeling of camaraderie, and he was so grateful that he had agreed to come to Missouri and be with Alex during her time of need, since it had ended up helping them all out in the long run.


	5. Chapter 5

"I brought us back coffee, Lexie!" Penelope said as she entered the living room. "I had a hard time saying goodbye to my Davie, but he reminded me that I would see him in a few weeks, once we're back in Boston. Because there is no way that I can Skype him and concentrate on helping you, too."

She handed over the cup with Alex's name on it, giving her a small wink as she sank down onto the sofa next to the older woman. "And I am fairly certain that I do not want to be privy to whatever conversations happen between the two of you. I mean, there's being intimate with friends, and then there's knowing way too much about their sex life."

"Aw, but there can be a lot of fun when you know what makes your friends' corks pop, sugar." Penelope knew that she was playing with fire by trying to push Alex's boundaries, but then she also knew that she needed to keep things light between them, so that the sorrow wouldn't overwhelm Alex, now that it was just the two of them in the house. "And there are so many ways to uncork my bottle."

Alex laughed as she shook her head, turning a little so that she could look at Penelope, and it made her heart sing a little to see a true smile on the woman's lips. "If you're not careful, things could quickly get out of hand."

"And that is when the most fun can be had, Alex." Reaching out, she rubbed the woman's thigh lightly before looking around the room. "It looks like you've started to work in here a little bit."

"I had to do something to keep my hands busy." Penelope lifted her eyebrows before licking her lips a little, watching Alex flush a little. "You have a one-track mind today!"

"Hey, my lover headed back home today, and I am going to be without an outlet for a little while." Leaning in, she whispered in Alex's ear, making certain that her lips ghosted against the delicate shell. "He doesn't mind if I do find an outlet while we're separated."

She couldn't miss the way that Alex shivered a little before pulling away a tiny bit and taking a sip from her cup. "We'll have to see about that, Penelope. It has been a while since I've been intimate with a girlfriend."

"It comes right back to you, I promise," she quickly replied as she sat back in her seat, cradling the cup of coffee against her chest and took a deep breath. "Now, I thought that we could start in the living room today, as the dumpster won't be delivered until tomorrow morning. And don't worry, I already got clearance for it to be on the street. When they heard where it would be, well, your father's name still holds a lot of cachet around town. You were a very lucky daughter, indeed."

"I'm starting to see that a little more clearly, now." There was a tenderness to Alex's voice that Penelope had never really heard before their time here with her, and she nodded a little as she reached out to take hold of her hand, wanting to comfort more than titillate in that moment. "There is a fresh box of trash bags in the pantry, I'll get them if you want to start going through the bookcase next to the television?"

"That sounds like a very good plan. I'll only put things that are very clearly rubbish on the trash pile, everything else you can go over once you're back. I don't want to make it seem like I'm making decisions willy nilly."

"I trust you, Penelope." Those words stole her breath away, and she nodded slowly as Alex leaned over and kissed her cheek gently before getting to her feet and leaving the room. It took her a few seconds to break out of the trance that the gesture seemed to put her under, and then she got to her feet and went over to the bookcase in question. Thankfully, it wasn't so tall as to require a stepstool to empty the top shelf, and there wasn't anything on top of it, so she knew that it would be a bit easy to clean out. Setting her coffee cup on the third shelf, she lifted herself up on her tiptoes to pull out the first thing that her fingers touched. It was a stack of old check boxes, and she held them to her chest with one hand before pulling the lid off the top one, seeing that they dated from 2012.

"All right, I think that I'll need to make a different pile," she murmured as she carried the check register boxes over to the sofa and dropped them down there. "Those need to be shredded or burned."

"I'm sorry?"

She turned to look at Alex, giving her a small smile as she held her hand out, gesturing at the boxes. "Those old check registers. You need to shred or burn them, because there's too much personal information there. I know, it seems a bit over the top, but I'd rather your father's estate be kept in good order."

"That's really smart. I probably would have just thrown them away."

"Yeah, well, I'm the one who has the most experience with the underground, so I know what to think about when clearing out things like this. Now, how about we work in tandem? I'll hand you things off the shelves, and you can decide. I was thinking that we could work for two hours and then try to find something that's still good in the fridge. It might be time to pull a casserole out of the freezer, though, since I think that we ate through most of the food that was brought over."

"That works for me." They shared a quick smile before heading over to the bookcase and Penelope took a deep breath as she pulled down more of the boxes, watching Alex toss them onto the sofa with quick, easy, tosses.

"You should have played in that softball game, not Reid," she commented when they finally moved on to some of the other things that were kept on the shelves.

"I did play in high school, but Derek wanted to include Spencer. I get it, the kid needs to feel like he can be something more than just that incredible brain of his," she replied as she stared down at the picture frame in her hands. "I remember the day this was taken. We were on vacation in Wyoming, and the only place that I wanted to visit was Devil's Tower. My brothers were all about Yellowstone and hiking, but I wanted to see something that made me feel infinitely small and infinitely large all at the same time. Mom agreed, and so we took a side trip there. Danny went right up to the great rock, and bragged about how he had touched it, but I found that I couldn't be that brave. I was overwhelmed by the long shadow that it created, and for some reason, I couldn't control my emotions, bursting into tears at the majesty of what I was taking in. Mom just pulled me in close for a hug, whispering in my ear that there was no shame in letting the grandeur of God's creation elicit strong emotion. And then, Dad insisted we take a family picture, asking one of the other tourists there to do the honors, and now I have this memory in my heart once more."

"That's an exquisite story, Alex," she whispered as she paused to swipe away a few tears of her own. "I've never been there. There are so many places that I wish I had the time to see, but I know that I have to live vicariously, because we're only afforded so much time here on this planet."

"If we're done early, if this goes faster than planned, we'll go there."

Penelope met Alex's eye, giving her a tremulous smile. "I would honestly love that, Lexie." The woman nodded as she set the picture frame atop the keep pile before coming to her side and pulling her into a tight hug. "How is that I'm supposed to be the one that's helping you, but you're the one comforting me?"

"Because our souls pull us towards what we need most. And before you say it, some of the religious teachings that I grew up with stuck in my psyche, and I have to think that there might be some truth to them, on a gut level." Again, Alex's lips grazed against her cheek before they got back to work once more, managing to clear out all the shelves by the time their stomachs began to growl with hunger. "I think that is our cue to grab something to eat."

"I heartily agree," she said as she brushed her hands off on her skirt. Together, they went into the kitchen, and Penelope poured out water for them while Alex rummaged around in the fridge for something for them to eat. "After this, I think that I'll do a sweep of the pantry and separate out all the foods that are still in date that we can donate to a food pantry, and the out of date stuff that needs to be thrown out. You can continue in the living room?"

"All right, but don't take too long. I rather like the quiet company that you've provided so far."

"I will try to give my feet wings, sugar." They shared a tender smile, and Penelope sighed a little as she picked up her glass and took a long drink. "You know, I never thought to ask, but there's a basement and an attic to this house, isn't there?"

"Yes, along with the shed in the yard."

"All right, I am going to try to not think about that, and concentrate on one room at a time, otherwise I'll keep telling myself that we'll never get this finished. But since I have something that will entice me to keep going, I think that we really can get this accomplished."

Alex nodded as she turned the oven on. "You know, it will take about ten minutes for the oven to finish preheating. Why don't we start the pantry while we wait?"

"That works for me!" She took hold of the hand Alex held out to her, and they went into the pantry together. The rest of the day flew by, and Penelope was pleased with the progress they had made, getting the entire pantry cleared out, as well as most of the living room. "All right, I think that we've worked long enough for today, let's head upstairs?"

"Okay." They stood up from the sofa, and Penelope cracked her back before heading over to the staircase. "Penny?"

She turned to look at Alex, seeing that a small look of sadness had crept into her expression, and she tilted her head a little as she stepped closer to Alex. "What is it, sugar?"

"I don't want to be alone tonight. It was easier when there were more of us in the house, but with it just being you and me, well, it will be too quiet."

"Okay, I'll meet you in your room, after I change into my pyjamas." Before Alex could say anything more, Penelope leaned in and kissed her lips softly. There was a brief moment before Alex returned the kiss hesitantly, pressing her hands against Penelope's back as the kiss deepened a little. "See? It's just like riding a bike," she murmured as their kiss ended.

"I guess so." Alex reached out and caressed her hair before slipping past her and heading up the stairs quickly, as if she had to get up to her room before she did something foolish. Shaking her head a little, she followed after Alex, taking her time on the stairs in order to build in a buffer zone for the woman, not wanting her to feel like she had to hurry on account of Penelope. It didn't take long for her to get into the master bedroom, and she hurriedly stripped down to her panties before shimmying into her nightshirt and a comfy pair of yoga pants.

"All right, you probably won't do much more than sleep tonight, don't get your hopes up, Penny," she said to her reflection as she brushed out her hair and then smiled at her reflection. Heading into the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and removed the little bit of makeup that she had applied that morning before peeing and washing her hands. "You're here to help her, in whatever way she needs, Penelope Garcia, not thinking about what you might desire. Just because Dave has given you the okay to sleep with her does not mean that you need to just jump on her at the first opening."

Straightening her shoulders, Penelope let out a small sigh before leaving the bathroom and heading down the hall to Alex's room. Knocking three times, she then let herself in, looking towards the bed to see that Alex was already stretched out there, wearing a thin tank top and yoga pants. Swallowing thickly, she tried not to stare at the woman's chest, or focus on the fact that she could clearly make out the color of her nipples. "That didn't take you long, Penelope."

"I knew that I had something to look forward to, Alex," she replied as she crossed the room to take a seat on the bed, leaning against the headboard. "I don't think I've ever seen you quite like this."

"This is how I normally sleep. And you should be warned, I'll probably wake you up in the morning, because I like to get up early to shower. Go back to sleep until I bring us breakfast up here, as I really want to start in my room tomorrow, and get the majority of it cleared out. I think that we should be able to have that finished before lunch time, and then we can work downstairs once more."

"I like the way your brain works, Alex," she murmured as she scooted down in order to stretch out alongside Alex, letting her arm come to rest around her waist. "I just hope that I might get to like the way your body works, too."

"You are so saucy!" Alex exclaimed as she reached up to cup Penelope's face, running her thumb along her cheekbone. "But it's nice to have that, while I work through my grief. It would have been so much harder if you had left with them, too." Before Penelope had the chance to react, Alex was closing the distance between them and kissing her with the same gentleness as on the staircase. A little purr slipped from her lips when the woman began to pepper those same gentle kisses across her face, slipping her glasses off her face and setting them on the table next to the bed as she did so. "You are so lovely."

"So are you," she replied as she reached up and tucked a hank of hair behind Alex's ear. She smiled down into Penelope's face, and then kissed her lips once more before letting her body softly drop down atop hers, her chin coming to rest on Penelope's shoulder as they sighed in tandem. "If I get to be too much, though, please let me know. I don't want to overwhelm you with my over the top behavior."

"Of course I'll do that, Penny. But I have to ask the same of you. If I get to be too suffocating with my sorrow, let me know. Because I don't want to drive you away. Of all my friends and acquaintances, you were the only one that wanted to stay, and I think I love you a little for that."

Penelope could hear the tears in Alex's voice, and she tightened her arms around her waist as she turned her head and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Oh, sugar, I love you, too. I love all the people I've worked with, except for Luke. He never understood my boundaries, and if he knew that we were together like this, he would blow a gasket. I think that he heard stories of the way that Derek and I flirted so much, and assumed that he would pick up that role, too, since he took over for my Boo, when he left us."

"Boundaries need to be kept, especially when you're in a relationship. That's why I was surprised that Dave would be okay with this."

"Because he knows that you might like to find release in the arms of a trusted friend, and that the boundaries between us won't become blurred as a result. I'm good at comforting my friends, Alex." She nodded before turning her head so that she was facing Penelope's neck, and a shiver of desire coursed through her body as Alex's breath washed across her skin. "And I'd like to take this as far as you're willing to go tonight. Or any night that we're together."

"I see," Alex replied as one of her hands crept beneath Penelope's shirt, splaying out just beneath her breasts and allowing her thumb to rub against the sensitive skin there. "Will you kiss me again?"

"Yes. All you have to do is ask for what you want." Alex pulled away from Penelope to look into her eyes. There was a stormy expression there, though beneath the sadness she could see the first flames of desire stirring.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Penelope's face relaxed into a gentle smile as she nodded, leaning in to capture Alex's lips in a fiercer kiss, using the momentum to push her onto her back and straddle her as the kiss deepened. It was so easy to allow her hands to roll the tank top up her body, to slip her arms out of the holes, before breaking the kiss to tug it off completely. "You are so beautiful, Alex." Her words were reverent, hushed, and she watched the tender play of emotions that spread across the woman's face before she looked into Penelope's eyes, tears sparkling there. "Don't cry, please! It's the truth. Your face, your hair, everything about you is just…I'm lost for words. I don't know how James could have left you. If I weren't committed to David, I wouldn't ever leave your side. Though there will always be opportunities for us to get away. I will make certain of that."

Before Alex could say anything else, Penelope bent down and kiss her once more, hooking her thumbs into the waistband of Alex's yoga pants and tugging them downwards, unsurprised to find that she wasn't wearing any underwear. She wanted to take things slowly, to worship Alex and bring her as much pleasure as possible, but as the kiss became more frenzied, she wondered if she would be able to do just that. Alex's hands were cold against the skin of her back, and Penelope gasped as those sweet hands slid beneath the waistband of her yoga pants to grab at her ass, squeezing firmly. That gasp also allowed Alex to slip her tongue inside Penelope's mouth, their tongues slipping against each other in a dance that was as old as time.

Knowing that she had to regain control of the situation, that she was going to be the one who would bring pleasure to Alex that evening, she reluctantly broke the kiss in order to place two soft busses to each of Alex's cheeks before dragging her lips down the long column of her neck in sloppy, openmouthed kisses. There was something so delicious about the taste of her skin, and Penelope lapped and nipped at the pulse that beat beneath her lips, knowing that her heart was thrumming just as quickly as Alex's as she drew heated patterns on the silken skin she was caressing. "Penny!"

Her name sounded so right dropping from Alex's lips, and she nodded a little as she nipped a little sharper, the pleasured whine that came from Alex's throat telling her that she was doing something right. Nuzzling her nose against that throat, Penelope began to move downwards once more, taking care to trace her tongue along the hollow of it before starting down to worship her chest and bring Alex to higher planes of pleasure. The feel of Alex's fingers sliding deeply into her hair, tugging none too gently in an effort to guide Penelope to what she wanted. "Oh, sugar, no. I am going to take my time with this and make certain that you experience the most pleasure I can give you," she whispered as she allowed her cheek to come to rest against the swell of Alex's breasts. Breathing in deeply, she took in Alex's perfume mixed with her personal scent, and sighed before lifting her head once more and pressing her lips to each breast in turn before scooting down Alex's body a little so that she could lift those heavy globes with her hands before running her tongue along the crease of skin beneath them, hoping that it was just as erogenous a spot for Alex as it was for her. From the way the woman's body bowed up against her mouth, Penelope knew that she was doing something right for her, and she nodded a little as she continued to tease that skin with her tongue.

And then, Alex was stiffening, a sharp, high, groan falling from her mouth as the first orgasm of the evening washed over her. Penelope pulled back a little to watch the way Alex orgasmed, seeing the flush of her skin, the slight sheen of sweat that caused her body to glisten, the way her mouth dropped open as she gasped for breath, and found herself want to drive Alex onwards to another as quickly as possible. Before the spasms of pleasure ended, Penelope was already feasting on her breasts, drawing one stiffened nipple between her lips to suck and lick, one hand slipping down the soft torso before gently parting Alex's legs and stroking her fingers up and down her slick folds. "You are so wet for me, Alex."

"Yes," the woman hissed out, arching her hips upwards, inviting Penelope to explore her more thoroughly. Fitting two fingers inside Alex's tight channel, she let her thumb stroke back and forth over her clit, listening to the way that Alex's breathing started to hitch as the next orgasm ramped up in her body. "Please."

"Yes, sugar," she murmured before starting to suckle her breast once more as she scissored her fingers in order to bring Alex more pleasure as she drove her onwards. Again, Alex's orgasm was quick and quiet, another sharp groan the only clue that she had slipped over the precipice. Withdrawing her fingers, Penelope pulled away to look into the woman's eyes as she cleaned them off slowly. Lust was still clouding the woman's gaze, and she whined a little as her hips continued to twitch with soft waves of pleasure. "Here, so you're not the only one naked," she said as she tugged her own shirt over her head, dropping it onto the pile of their clothes before shucking off her own yoga pants and then stretching out alongside Alex.

"How is Dave still alive when he has you in his bed every night?" she panted out as they snuggled close to each other.

"He gets to go out in the field. But that only builds the edge on us both until we're back together. And let me assure you, that first night after a case? Is very exhausting for us both. Emily has chosen to refrain from commenting on that fact the next morning. It is very hard for her to separate being my friend and being my boss at times."

"It was the same for Erin," Alex said quietly as she drew the covers up around them. There was a pause before she spoke once more. "We stole a few nights for ourselves when we were working on the Amerithrax case. We knew that we shouldn't let passions rise between us, since we were both married, but there was also a franticness that we couldn't quite shake off any other way. That's what made her betrayal of us hurt even more. I wanted her to defend me, to say that the mistakes made were caused by all of us, but she never said a word, instead agreeing with the Director that John and I needed to be demoted. It was only as I struggled to start rebuilding my career, my reputation, that I heard she had not only made Section Chief for the BAU, but was also pregnant with Tabitha."

"Those are two major life events happening all at once."

"Uh huh, and it suddenly all made sense. She must have known that she was pregnant when we collared the wrong unsub. I would have panicked, too, and fought to save my position. Because our children always meant the world to us. It didn't stop me from being angry and bitter, but I understood her motivations. I just wish that I had yielded my pride a little sooner, because I lost my best friend before we could fully reconcile. I've lost so much, Penny."

Alex started to cry, and Penelope felt her heart break for the woman as she nodded and drew her even closer to her side as she stroked her hair. "But that's why we're here now. Because I can run up to Boston whenever you need me, and I can bring Dave along at times, too. I won't let you be alone in your grief. I will try to make it so that you don't lose anymore. Face it, sugar, you might be stuck with me now."

She nodded as she tucked her head beneath Penelope's chin, as if trying to disappear into her, and Penelope let out a sweet sigh as she lengthened her strokes to include her back, wanting to comfort her as best she could. "I rather like the idea of having someone who wants to stick by my side."

"Good. Now, we should head to sleep, since it will be a long day ahead of us tomorrow. And when you wake up, make certain you kiss me, please. Don't tell anyone else, but I'm a bit of a romantic at heart."

"No," Alex scoffed, and she nodded before awkwardly bending her head so that she could kiss the top of the woman's head. "Your heart is one of the most romantic I've ever met. I think that's why it was so easy to fall into your arms tonight. I knew that you would be lovely and kind and…thank you."

"You're welcome, sugar." A yawn split her lips as she wiggled a little in Alex's arms, trying to get even closer to the woman as her eyes closed heavily. "I love you, Alex," she mumbled as she drifted off to sleep, knowing that they would keep each other safe as they slept.

The next thing she knew, Penelope was feeling lips brush against her forehead, and she blinked her eyes open to see Alex kneeling down by the bed. There was a soft, open, smile on her face and Penelope returned the expression before sitting up, allowing the covers to pool around her waist as she stretched. "I told you, I'm going to take a shower. Go back to sleep."

"Perhaps I want to shower with you?"

Alex let out a little chuckle as she shook her head. "I should have seen that one coming. Fine, but only if that's all we do. Shower sex was never something that I enjoyed, I'm sorry."

She shrugged as she got out of bed, following after Alex. "I'm not quite as limber as I was a few years ago, either, Lex. Dave and I tried it once, and my ass was bruised for weeks afterwards. I just like washing with my lovers. Because there's a very different sort of intimacy about that action." Reaching forward, she took hold of Alex's hand and threaded their fingers together as they stepped into the bathroom. "And this way, I can start getting to work up here while you make us breakfast, and it will buy us a little bit of extra time."

"I like the idea of that." Alex gave her a little smile as they stepped into the shower. Turning the water on, Alex positioned herself so that the spray would hit her first, shivering at the coldness of it. Penelope let out a small sound of commiseration before leaning in and kissing her softly. Their time in the shower was brief, truly just enough to wash their hair and bodies, though Penelope did use the time to learn more about Alex's body, watching the way water sluiced off her curves, highlighting the softness of her body, causing her hands to ache from want of touching and caressing her.

As she rinsed the conditioner from her hair, Penelope met Alex's eyes, seeing that the woman was watching her in bemusement. "What?"

"You look at me like I'm a piece of art. I know that I've aged in the years that have separated us, but you still look at me like I'm beautiful."

"Because you are?" she responded as she finished the task at hand, shaking her hair out a little as she switched places with Alex. "I wish that you could read my mind, because language is not my forte, and anything that I might say won't come out right. But you're so entirely beautiful, Alex. You glow in a way that makes my heart glow in response. The only other person I glow with, perhaps only a smidgeon brighter, is David."

"Oh," Alex breathed out as she turned off the water, staring at Penelope sweetly. "You have to be one of the sweetest women I've ever met. I've tasted the lips of Erin and you, and I don't know who tastes sweeter. But I am all the better for having drunk from that cup."

The tenderness of those words tugged at Penelope's heart, and she nodded a little as she stepped closer to Alex before pulling her into a warm hug, letting one hand slip down her back in order to cup her arse and squeeze it a little as she struggled not to take things a little farther than that. "And I love drinking from that cup, as well," she whispered before kissing her softly and then pushing her away. "But we need to get moving before we end up just falling back into bed."

"I suppose that you're right," Alex murmured as she opened the shower door and stepped out onto the mat. Grabbing towels for them, she handed one over to Penelope. She hastily wrapped it around her body before getting out and then sashaying out the door, knowing that Alex was watching her the entire time. After heading to her room, she dropped the towel to the floor and rummaged through her bag to find something casual to wear that day. "Here, wear one of Scotty's shirts, and I'll do some laundry for us today while we're cleaning up here."

Looking up, she gave Alex a small nod, taking the shirt from her hands before handing over what she wanted washed. "You think of everything," she said with a small wink before pulling the soft shirt over her head and smoothing it into place. "I will meet you in your bedroom shortly, sugar."

Alex nodded before leaving the room, and Penelope rose to her feet slowly, giving her time to get downstairs before she stepped out of the room and went over to Alex's room. Taking a look around, she saw that there would be a lot more to do there than she had previously assumed, noticing all the little things that she knew Alex would want to keep. Finally, she found a box in the closet and pulled it out, grateful to find it empty. Setting it on the bed, Penelope went around the room and took hold of the things she was certain Alex would want to keep inside before starting to make donate and trash piles against the wall by the window.

"You've made good work, Penny," Alex said, and she turned to look at the woman, seeing that she had a tray in her hands. Grinning, she patted the floor next to her, welcoming Alex by her side before reaching out for a mug of coffee and taking a long sip. "I hope that it's not too strong."

"Strong and hot is always good, Lexie. Especially on a morning like this, after we thoroughly wore each other out last night." Leaning over, she gave Alex a quick kiss before taking another sip of coffee. "I put quite a number of things that I knew you would want to keep in that box, and then started donate and toss piles. I'll have to head downstairs around eleven to sign for the dumpster and the U-Haul. I got one of those little ones that attach to cars, hopefully it will be large enough for everything."

"It should be. There's not too much that I want to keep. And I was thinking, since you're so good with the internet, you could take pictures of some things that would be better to sell while we're here, and put them on Craigslist or something?"

"I can start that tomorrow, yes. Do you have any sticky notes?" Alex nodded. "Good, will you get them after we finish eating? I'll put one on everything that you want to sell. Though I'm assuming that you'll want to sell most of the furniture?"

"You would be correct," Alex replied as she handed a plate over to Penelope. "Though I want to keep my trunk. I never brought it with me, since I always assumed that this would be home, and I wouldn't need to take it with me. But now, I have to."

"Can I see what you have in there?"

"Of course, and we can fill it up a little more with some of the mementos that I want to bring with me." They exchanged a brief smile before Penelope tucked into her food, finding herself ravenous. It was nice to quietly eat, as if they knew that there wasn't the need for quite so many words while they were together, and she let out a little sigh as she set the plate back on the tray before holding the mug close to her chest as she leaned back against the bed. "All right, I'll run these down to the kitchen and then be back up here to help you. Feel free to remove the quilt on top of the trunk and put it inside after you've looked your fill."

Before she got to her feet, Alex leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. Penelope sighed happily as she watched the woman leave, letting the door close before she shuffled over to the large trunk at the end of her bed. She could tell by looking at it that it was much older than Alex, so she wondered if it was a family heirloom passed down through the years. Carefully folding the quilt that covered it, Penelope smiled a little wider as she opened the lid and looked inside. There were so many little treasures in there that would form a better picture of who Alex was inside, but she knew that they didn't truly have time for her to look at everything in there. Instead, she swept her eyes over what was there, taking note of a few things that she would ask Alex about once they were back at her home in Boston before laying the quilt out on top of what was there and then going back to what she was doing. Taking a seat at the vanity, she opened the top drawer and began to look through what was there, feeling like she was opening up a sort of time capsule into Alex's past.

Letting out a little excited mewl, Penelope pulled out a leather-bound book, soaking in the fact that Alex's initials were stamped in the corner in gold. A part of her truly wanted to open it and read the contents from cover to cover, to discover what a young Alex had considered important enough to write in her diary, while another part knew that that would be invading her privacy in a way that might hurt her deeply. "Go ahead, look your fill."

She turned her head to see Alex standing in the doorway, leaning against the wood, a knowing look on her face. "I don't want to dig too deep into your past. Though I may flip through to see what sort of handwriting you had as a teenager." Alex laughed a little as she came over to her side and stroked her hair before wrapping her arms loosely around Penelope's neck and gazing at her in the mirror. Penelope smiled at her before opening the book and looking at the writing without trying to red what was there. "You wrote elegantly as a girl? My handwriting never looked this nice, I was in too much of a hurry to get my thoughts down."

"My mother had beautiful handwriting, and I wanted to be like her for so long. My journals were the best way I could learn to copy her writing. That is my senior year diary, so you'd see my crushes, the one I told my parents about, and the ones I couldn't tell them. They wouldn't have understood us sleeping together, or Erin and I sleeping together, not when I liked guys, too. It would have been easier if I was either or, not both."

"That's the world, though, sugar. But I have the feeling that your parents would have loved you no matter who you loved." She turned her face and pressed her cheek against Alex's breast before handing the diary over to her. "Here, put this in the trunk, I'll continue to pull things out of these drawers."

Alex nodded as she set down a trash bag next to Penelope, taking hold of the book before heading over to the trunk. It took Penelope longer to drag her eyes away from the woman, since there was a new feeling of melancholy that seemed to have fallen around them. Letting out a deep sigh, she shook her head and then went back to the task at hand. It didn't take long to get the vanity cleared out, but Penelope was surprised when Alex placed a sticky note on the edge of the mirror. "I have no room for it, Penny."

"This is an antique, though. I'm guessing that it was your mother's, if not your grandmother's vanity, once upon a time."

"It was, yes, but who would I pass it down to? Our family line dies with me. It's better to let it go to a home that will love it, and get good use out of it."

She dipped her head a little, trying not to cry at that truth. It was something she hadn't considered, and she sighed a little as she pushed the matching bench beneath the vanity and then went over to the closet, pulling things off the shelf and handing them to Alex. With them working in tandem, it didn't take long to get the entire room cleared, and she wasn't surprised that Alex also tagged the rest of the furniture, since it didn't make sense to take it with them, not when she had a house full of furniture back in Boston.

"All right, since that went so easily, how about we move on to the guest room? I'm assuming it was Danny's, since there is a younger feel to it."

"You'd be right, Penelope. Dad tried to erase his presence from there, but it still lingered. I don't exactly believe in things that can't be explained away by science, but there is still some weight to the room that reminds me of Danny." Alex pursed her lips as she reached out for Penelope's hand, clasping it tightly as they went out into the hall, quickly heading next door.

Again, they fell into an easy work pattern, and Penelope was loathe to leave her when the U-Haul and dumpster arrive. "Why don't we bring down the first few rubbish bags, so that we can kill two birds with one stone," she finally said, hoping that Alex would understand.

"That is a brilliant idea, yes." Alex grabbed the full rubbish bag from Danny's room and they went into the hall before Penelope popped into Alex's room and grabbed the two bags from there. The woman was already downstairs by the time Penelope reached the stairwell, and she allowed herself to take a deep breath before starting downwards, taking careful steps so as not to trip over anything on the way down. "Here, let me take one of those," Alex said, reaching out to grab the bag closest to her, which Penelope easily relinquished.

They walked outside together, and Penelope made certain to grab their coats and her purse before joining Alex in the yard just as the trucks arrived. She paid the U-Haul man first, since that was an easy drop off, and he helped her hook up the trailer to the back of Alex's SUV before heading out. Then it was over to the dumpster driver, and she paid him as Alex started tossing the three bags into the container. "Thank you so much for delivering this with such short notice."

"You're most welcome, ma'am. We'll be back to pick it up in three weeks' time if you don't call us sooner to have it emptied or removed."

"Perfect." She shook the man's hand before letting him go and then she turned to see what Alex was doing, seeing that she was bringing out a few more garbage bags. "So, I was thinking that you and I could get the trunk moved downstairs and out into the trailer before I started working on the other rooms upstairs and you started calling the utilities people. I know that most will require a death certificate to enact most permanent changes, but you can at least get the ball rolling, finding out what you need to do."

Alex nodded and reached out for her hand. Penelope clasped it tightly as they went back into the house, and she shrugged out of her coat before hanging it on the hook by the door. "I'll come and join you or get you for lunch, depending on how long everything takes. Thank you for thinking of that little detail, I don't think I would have remembered that. I should also talk to Daddy's lawyer, to figure out how quickly I can put the house up for sale. There are just so many details to work through."

"That's why you have me and Dave, and probably Hotch and Reid. The power of five and all that?" Alex gave her the softest smile before leaning in and kissing her tenderly. "Go! I don't want to get too distracted, that's for tonight."

"No, tonight is when I get to worship you, Penelope. It's not fair that I haven't had the chance yet. So, be prepared for me to devour you this evening."

Penelope felt her cheeks warm up in a deep blush as she nodded. "I'm glad that I have something to look forward to, then." Before Alex could say another word, she leaned in and kissed the older woman before hurrying from the hall and into the living room, grabbing the box of trash bags and bringing it upstairs with her. As she headed into Scott's room, she took a deep breath and tossed the box on the bed before turning on her heel and going to Danny's room and taking pictures of the furniture that Alex wanted to sell, putting them up on Craigslist, since she knew that she could vet the people before they came to pick up the furniture.

With that task out of the way, she went back to Scott's room and began to handily sort everything, losing herself in a weird rhythm that made the time pass very quickly. "What are you listening to?"

Penelope looked up to see Alex standing in the doorway, giving her a bemused look as she entered the room and dropped down onto the bed, not taking her eyes off her. "This is the cast recording of _It Shoulda Been You_. It stars the phenomenal Harriet Sansom Harris, and I love listening to it while doing cleaning tasks."

"I didn't know you liked musicals."

"I love them. If you don't mind eating in the living room tonight for supper, I can show you my favorite bootleg copy of _Cry Baby_. You might not like it, but I think it's hilarious. Or there's always _Into the Woods_. Or you could surprise me and choose your own favorite musical to show me, if you have one. There's just something about them that calms me and makes me happy."

"I could use an evening of something light, so how about we work up here until supper time, and then we can relax on the sofa and watch one or two before heading up for some more pleasurable pursuits?"

"I can get behind that, definitely." She winked at Alex before hoisting herself off the floor and bouncing down on the bed next to her. "Now, before you join in with helping me, I am going to snog you senseless, because I feel it has been entirely too long since we kissed. And I truly do need to get in as many kisses as possible before we're separated. Oh, I know that we'll get together, once you're home in Boston, because I'm going to make certain of that. But it will still be different."

Alex nodded a little as she licked her lips, leaning over into Penelope's side before kissing her gently. "I can only imagine how you tease and cajole Dave, Penelope," she breathed out against her mouth.

"It has worked wonders for getting my way, Lexie. I know, you probably weren't thinking about sex when we showed up, but I also hope that you didn't mind me just railroading you into the oblivion that pleasure can bring. I don't want you to feel guilt on top of any sorrow you feel."

Alex reached up to cup her face, running her thumb along Penelope's cheek before kissing her once more. "I rather think that your sweet, loving, spirit is keeping me from falling into the darkest parts of the despair I feel. And if that leads to physical pleasure, well, I'll take that. Because you're here, you're helping me with this hell, and I couldn't ask for anything more. Now kiss me senseless so that I have the courage to finish up Scotty's room and my parents. This is going to be the most difficult part, because the memories are strongest."

"I understand," she replied before taking a deep breath and closing the distance between them once more, letting her lips press against Alex's in a warm kiss as she pulled them back onto the mattress, deepening the kiss as she buried her hands in the woman's hair in order to hold her as close as possible while they made out like teenagers. "And when we get to Devil's Tower, no matter how cold it is, we are going to stand in it's shadow and kiss like our lives depend upon it. And we'll take a picture to send Dave, because I know that he'll enjoy seeing that before we head towards home."

"I really love the way you think. And perhaps someday, maybe even next Christmas, we can be together as friends once more and remembering this sweet time when the friends who became family along the way showed me what love can truly be." Tears sparkled in Alex's eyes, and she nodded before they kissed a third time, and Penelope knew that there would be many more moments like this in the weeks and months ahead of them, and she hoped that the foundations of the friendship that she built here would last the rest of their lives.


End file.
